Famed Fluky's Goes Islamic - Hot Dog Joint Now a Mosque

The conversion of Western Avenue in West Rogers Park into Moslem row continues apace as the storied Fluky's fast food emporium has now been converted into an Islamic mosque.

For over 3 decades, Fluky's was to that far North side community what Superdawg is to the Northwest side or what Gene & Jude's is to the Southwest side - a venerable purveyor of high-quality fast food delicacies.

The former Fluky's is now an Islamic mosque

Legend has it that Fluky's in its original incarnation on Maxwell Street, just West of the Loop, was the originator of the Chicago-style Vienna hot dog - the so-called "garden on a bun."

Until 1998, Fluky's was owned by a Jewish fellow named Wexler, a descendant of the man who started the operation in 1929, who was a big contributor to the #1 illegal alien lobby organization in Chicago, the Illinois Coalition for Immigrant and Refugee Rights (ICIRR).

Having thus done his bit for diversity, social justice and cheap foreign labor (of which he was an enthusiastic consumer)Wexler sold the joint and repaired to a quiet North Shore suburb where he is happily insulated from the social effects of diversity.

7419 N. Western: Home of the Burkha-wearing Bimbos

The Council on Islamic American Relations is a prime constituent of Wexler's pet ICIRR illegal alien pimps so the conversion of the legendary hot dog emporium to a mosque was really just a transaction amongst friends.

The old Fluky's site at 6821 N. Western Avenue has now been painted jihadist green by its new occupant, Jama' Masjid Faizan-e-Madinah.

This now becomes the 4th Islamic religious outfit to insinuate itself on the 9 block stretch of North Western Avenue between Pratt Avenue and Howard Street.

Just 2 blocks North there at 7020 Western is the BICC Bosnian Islamic Community Center, across the street from which at 7045 Western is the Ramat' E Alam Foundation.

The Bosnian Islamic hangout at 7020 N. Western Ave.

Four blocks North of there at 7419 Western is the Mahdevia Islamic Center of Chicago, where, before they bricked over the storefront glass, you used to be able to see rows of docile black-burkhad Islamic bimbos, quietly sitting on folding chairs taking in their black-bearded imam's pearls of wisdom.

Now all of this Jihadist settlement is occurring on the very border of Chicago's famed "Golden Ghetto," home to more than a dozen synogogues and scads of Lubavitch and other Orthodox Jewish cultists.

This creates a very interesting scenario, not at all dissimilar to the never dull, West Bank and Gaza strip of Palestine. Could Chicago soon be in store for comparable levels of never-ending excitement?

Skokie's Government-Loving East Prairie School Outlaws Fun

Last week we told the tale of the inane goings-on at Skokie's East Prairie School, wherein a blithering idiot of a school marm was indoctrinating little 4th graders in the wonders of an all-consuming, nanny state government.

East Prairie's Govt=Family Propaganda Piece

We printed the questionnaire that the pedagogical pudding head gave the kids. It equated government to a benevolent family. Some parents took umbrage with this teacher's statist indoctrination and it made national news.

We also printed all the salaries of the overpaid unionized teachers and and administrators at that Skokie District 73 government establishment. You can see that by going here: http://chicagolampoon.blogspot.com/2013/09/skokies-east-prairie-school-embraces.html

Our crack Chicago Lampoon photojournalists went out to Skokie's East Prairie School to get some local color and they found that the place not only is extolling the virtues of the Gulag-state, but it actually looks a bit like a Gulag.

They found a school yard, fenced in with aesthetically disastrous, but highly effective 8 foot fences. They also found a sign outlawing basically every fun thing that a kid might want to do.

East Prairie School's No-No list

Explicitly outlawed at East Prairie School are bicycling, roller blading, skateboarding, roller skating and scootering (sic).

There is also an ominous warning sign that you are in a "Safe School Zone" and will get the book thrown at you for gun possession, drug sales or recruiting any of the 6 to 12 year old Skokie kids into your gang.

Fun place this, huh?

They forgot to explicitly outlaw running, jumping, laughing,jump-roping, hop-scotch and pick-up softball games. As these are spontaneously fun things kids do without government supervision, the East Prairie School nanny staters will want to run right out and get a sign maker to rectify this oversight.

When she was indoctrinating the kids on the joys of the "government family", the 4th grade school marm neglected to say if this family would be paternal or maternal in orientation.

Paternal, like Adolf Hitler's Fatherland?

Or maternal, Like Josef Stalin's Mother Russia?

One gets the distinct impression that Skokie School District 73 and East Prairie School have not heard the last of this.

Chicago's Illegal Alien Lobby Getting Millions to Enroll Immigrants in Obamacare

The Chicago Lampoon has stumbled on a little-known State of Illinois grant notice which reveals that Chicago's chief lobby group for illegal aliens, The Illinois Coalition for Immigrant and Refugee Rights (ICIRR) and a number of ancillary immigrant lobby groups are getting millions of dollars in grants to enroll immigrants in the Obamacare socialized medicine scheme.

The feds are handing out big wads of your tax cash to hire "In-person counselors" and "Navigators" at $13 an hour to run around and sign up people for the Obamacare program. They've designated a gaggle of "Community Action Agencies" to hire the counselors and navigators.

Here's a list of the Chicago area immigrant groups and the amount of federal cash they'll be raking in:

Illinois Coalition for Immigrant and Refugee Rights -- $1,250,000.00
Illinois Migrant Council -- $385,000.00
Pilsen-Little Village Community Mental Health Center-- $650,000.00
El Hogar del Nino -- $225,000.00
Asian Health Coalition -- $115,897.33
Alivio Medical Center -- $66,560.00

Now ICIRR has been the chief pimp operation for illegal aliens in the Chicago area for the past 25 years.

They pushed through the "sanctuary city" and "sanctuary county" measures, whereby the cops and the Cook County jail can't cooperate with ICE to deport illegal alien suspects that they apprehend.

They pushed through the so-called "Dream Act," giving in-state college tuition to illegal aliens.

And they've been the rabble rousers behind all the noisy rallies of leftists demanding "rights" for the squatters who snuck into our country.

And now Obama & Co. have deputized them and are giving them cash to go out and sign up bodies for his medical scheme.

Obama and his allies, of course, have proposed another scheme to amnesty the 11 to 20 million illegal squatters here. They have assured us that the amnestied illegals won't be able to cash in on his free medical scheme for 8 years.

If you believe that, I have 2014 Cubs World Series tickets I can let you have -- cheap.

Durbin, Pelosi Join Obama War Party -- All We Are Saying: "Is Give War a Chance!!"

Less than a month after editorializing against the horrors of US military spending, lefty scribbler, Michael Cohen now heaves up, "The Liberal Case for Obama Striking Syria."


The former chief spokesman for Vietnam Veterans Against the War, John Kerry, is of course, helping mastermind the Obama war effort.

Not ones to be left behind the Obama martial juggernaut, Illinois' own Sen. Dick Durbin, who once likened US soldiers to Nazis, has signed on, as has San Francisco's quintessential peacenik and Haight-Ashbury flower child, Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi. Can Jan Schakowsky be far behind?

All they are saying, is Give War a Chance!!

Here's John Lennon and Yoko Ono from 1969 with Give Peace a Chance. Had Obama been presiding over Lyndon Johnson's peacekeeping operations in Vietnam, the song mightn't have ever been written:

Skokie's East Prairie School Embraces Collectivist Indoctrination: Teachers' Salaries Listed

In recent weeks there has been a distressing tendency among wordsmiths for federal government officials to inject the term "Federal Family" into their public pronunciamentos. CNS News just chronicled this today.

Skokie's East Prairie School

Now comes word that a 4th grade teacher at Skokie's District 73 East Prairie Elementary School gave an assignment designed to indoctrinate the tots into the concept that government is essentially equivalent to their own flesh and blood families.

Here was the quiz that the neo-Marxist, overpaid nincompoop assigned the little 10 year old kids:


1. How does your family keep you safe?
2. How does the government keep its citizens safe?
3. How does your family keep you healthy?
4. How does the government keep its citizens healthy?
5. How does your family help you learn and become educated?
6. How does the government help its citizens learn and become educated?
7. What kind of rules does your family have for you?
8. What kind of rules does government have for its citizens?
9. How does your family punish you when you break the rules?
10. How does government punish citizens who break the law?

Professor Walter Williams has chronicled how people in the teaching profession are the least competent students on America's college campuses, with the lowest test scores of all college students, but for sheer idiocy, this takes the cake.

Or is it more than idiocy?

We have no doubt that the 4th grade school marm in question has no clue as to the fact that US education is based on the doctrine of in loco parentis -- schools operate in the place of the parents (i.e. inculcating parental values and mores to the children.)

EPS logo (& Marxism?)

The 4th grade East Prairie School teacher likely couldn't even pronounce the term.

But we're wondering if, given the fact that the Obama administration has just injected "Federal Family" into its talking points, there isn't some orchestrated campaign in operation here.

Teachers should be inculcating the unique American ideal that limited government is the best government. Or as President Reagan put it, "A government that is big enough to give you anything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."

Rather, East Prairie School District 73 seems bent on indoctrinating their impressionable charges in a Lenin-styled notion that the family is superfluous -- government is the great provender of all that is good.

Just who is running Skokie East Prairie School District 73? Take a look at their School Board here.

Here are the latest available 2012 salaries for Skokie East Prairie School District 73. They are garnered from the Family Taxpayers Foundation which received them as a result of a Freedom of Information Act lawsuit. You can get more data on the individual school employee by simply clicking on the name:

NAME	SALARY
Albandia, Christopher	$56,276
Arnold, Cynthia	$95,499
Bart, Julia	$65,465
Bates, Suzan	$96,793
Baumann, Eric	$85,087
Berkowitz, Stacy	$77,003
Berlinghof, Timothy	$71,438
Breiler, Amy	$86,832
Britton, Brooke	$76,173
Butler, Ryan	$51,839
Clements, Leah	$69,809
deBettencourt, Sandra	$87,608
DeCamp, Danielle	$89,276

Pat Buchanan on Obama's Syrian Saber Rattling

Here is Pat Buchanan's latest column on the war drums that have begun to be heard from Washington:

“Catastrophic!” said Sen. John McCain.

If Congress votes no on a resolution calling for U.S. intervention in Syria’s civil war, says McCain, it would be “catastrophic” for U.S. credibility in the world.


Consider what the senator is saying here.

Because Barack Obama, two years ago, said “Assad must go,” and, one year ago, said any use of chemical weapons crosses his “red line,” Congress has no choice but to plunge America into yet another Mideast war.

Can this be? Are we really, as a nation, required to go to war to make good the simple-minded statements of an untutored president who had no constitutional authority to issue his impulsive ultimata?

Are we really required to go to war to get the egg off Obama’s face?

Not since the War of Jenkins’ Ear has there been a dumber cause for a great country to go to war. Is there no way out?

There is, and it’s right in front of us.

The House, Senate or both can vote no on the war resolution, and Obama can then say, as did David Cameron, that, while he disagrees, he respects the decision of a Congress in which the Constitution placed sole authority to authorize America’s going to war.

Are Brits now crying “catastrophe!”? Do the Spanish no longer think the Brits will defend Gibraltar? Is Britain now wholly non-credible to the world?

For Obama, and for us, it is the other options that invite catastrophe.

If, for example, the House or Senate votes down the war resolution and Obama, without authorization from Congress, the Security Council, NATO or the Arab League plunges us into a new war this nation does not want to fight, he will be courting a geostrategic and political disaster.

Even if Congress approves a war resolution, the president should think long and hard about diving into a war he sought to avoid and stayed out of for over two years. Make no mistake; if Obama attacks Syria, be it for hours or days, we are in that blood-soaked abattoir for the duration.

In his dramatic statement Saturday, as politically astute as it was constitutionally correct, Obama called Syria “someone else’s war.”

Whose war? It is Shia Alawite vs. Sunni, Muslim vs. Christian, Kurd vs. Arab, Islamist vs. secularist. Backing Bashar Assad are Iran, Hezbollah and Russia. Backing the rebels are Turkey, Saudi Arabia, the Gulf states, al-Qaida, foreign jihadists and the Muslim Brotherhood.

Assad is accused of killing 100,00 people. But that is the total of the dead in a civil war Assad has as much right to fight as the rebels. While his army is accused of using gas on civilians, the Islamist rebels have murdered Christians, massacred captives and engaged in public acts of cannibalism on dead Syrian soldiers.

Gas is a sickening weapon. Yet, there is no evidence thus far that Assad ordered its use. Rebel elements are said to have been found with sarin. As for Americans who tend to prefer white phosphorus, napalm and cluster bombs, upon what lofty moral ground do we stand?

Have we forgotten that Churchill wanted to drop anthrax on Germany and settled for two days of firebombing the defenseless city of Dresden? Or that our great friend Anwar Sadat was the confidante of Gamal Abdel Nasser when Egypt was using poison gas on Yemeni tribesmen?

The United States does not have any national security interest in Syria’s war. Why would we then launch missile attacks to “degrade” Assad’s military, when that army and air force are all that stands between us and a privileged sanctuary for al-Qaida in northern Syria, not unlike what al-Qaida had in Tora Bora and Waziristan.

We are told that if we do not strike Syria – making good on Obama’s threats – Israel, Turkey and even Japan and South Korea will not be able to trust us ever again.

What nonsense. We have treaties with Japan and South Korea. As for Turkey and Israel, if what is happening in Syria is outrageous and dangerous, why do they not act? Why do they keep tugging at our sleeve?

The Israeli Air force is five minutes from Damascus, its army a two-day march. The Turks have three times Syria’s population and a 400,000-man army equipped with NATO weapons. Together, they could invade and turn the tide in a week. Why do they not man up?

McCain and Sen. Lindsey Graham came out of the Oval Office saying Obama was open to wider strikes on Syria and more lethal support for the rebels. As Iran, Hezbollah and Russia would then upgrade their own weapons shipments to Damascus, this will mean more dead, more wounded, more tens of thousands fleeing into exile and a longer war.

But what it will likely end with, after America is dragooned in, is a U.S. war with Iran; our allies, sitting in their box seats, cheering us on.

And that is the dog you will not hear bark in the war-on-Syria debate.

Black Teens Shoot White Aussie "For Fun": Chicago Tribune Covers Up Race of Shooters

"Teens" Accused of murdering Aussie ballplayer "for fun"

 
Most everyone who reads the Drudge Report knows by now that 3 black teenagers in Oklahoma shot and killed a white Australian baseball player in cold blood yesterday on an Oklahoma jogging path.

The White Victim

Readers of the Chicago Tribune or its free throwaway adjunct, the Redeye, however would just know that "teens" shot a "jogger."

It's not that the Tribune has an aversion to reporting the race of shooters, however. Because on page 6 of today's Trib-owned Redeye, readers were told that yesterday's gunman at an Atlanta grade school was "a white male adult."

Of course, the leftist news media won't give the hate crime aspect of this black-on-white, outright murder the same gleeful emphasis they afforded the murky Trayvon Martin matter.

The outright anti-white bias of the Chicago Tribune and its censorious cover up of black-on-white criminal atrocities is beyond contemptuous at this point.

The members of the liberal news media have become enemies of the people.

Each and every one of them.

Sylvia Plath: Feminist Icon and Leftist Looneytune

This marks the 50th anniversary of American poet Sylvia Plath's death.

Feminist icon Sylvia Plath

She was wildly promiscuous as a college girl. She was criminally negligent as a mother. She was a mindless, knee-jerk left-winger, wrong on virtually every vital issue of her day. She was certifiably insane.

And she has become an icon of the feminist movement.

Naturally.

At the time she decided to swallow a bottle of sleeping pills and stick her head into a gas oven, leaving behind her 2 infant children in an adjoining room, Sylvia Plath was little more than a 2nd rate talent.

The New Yorker was rejecting her poems by the truckload. She had just approached two American publishers  with her self-admitted  "potboiler" the  pseudonymously penned novel, The Bell Jar.

They both said thanks, but no thanks.

She was known best only for being the wife of  English writer and future British national poet-laureate, Ted Hughes. He was a colleague of T.S. Eliot and W.H. Auden and was commanding big sums for his literary output.

Plath's husband, Ted Hughes

She was not.

So as it turned out, her decision to snuff it on the morning of February 11, 1963 was one of the best career moves she could have possibly made.

That's because in death, radical feminists would adopt her as an iconic role model and vigorously promote her as being some sort of artistic genius.

Then, her stuff finally began to sell.

Liberals need their martyrs and Sylvia Plath fit their requirements to a T.

First off, Sylvia Plath was an extreme left-winger.

She, seemed to get all her political ideas from the ultra-left wing  The Nation - a Madison Wisconsin-based rag whose pages entertained the journalistic excretions of the likes of communists Leon Trotsky, Noam Chomsky and Izzy Stone.

Most egregiously, Sylvia Plath developed a maniacal affinity for the Jewish-American communist spies and traitors, Julius and Ethel Rosenberg. Plath proclaimed their innocence and railed at her fellow college girls for being able to calmly eat breakfast on the day of their executions.

Plath actually developed a psychosomatic sympathetic rash on her arms at the very hour the Rosenbergs were dispatched at the electric chair for handing the murderous Josef Stalin the secrets to America's H-bomb.

Plath's political bible

Plath had no moral qualms about people who supplied the mass murdering despot, Stalin, with weapons of mass destruction, but decried President John F. Kennedy for "threatening the Soviet Union."

She called her mother "stupid" for voting for General Eisenhower rather than the ridiculous Libertyville aristocrat, Adlai Stevenson, who she called "The Abe Lincoln of our age."

In the world of Sylvia Plath's fevered brain, Ike's election was, "the funeral day of all my hopes and ideas."

Over at Cambridge on a Fulbright scholarship, she immediately joined the Young Labour Party, which was then dominated by full-blown Stalinists of the extremist Trade Unions Council. She also signed on to the "Ban the Bomb" movement of pinhead lefty mathematician, Bertrand Russell (apparently not realizing that if her heroes, the Rosenbergs had not supplied Stalin with the H-bomb, an American nuclear monopoly would have obviated the whole problem.)

Secondly, Sylvia Plath became a vehement misandrist.

Stung by her husband's rejection of her in the last months of her life she spewed out a number of poetic ravings which vilified men:

"I hated men because they didn't stay around and love me like a father: I could prick holes in them and show they were no father material...Men, nasty lousy men."

So when the radical feminists began to flex the muscles on their hairy arms in the 1970s, who could be more perfect a figure to manufacture into an icon than Sylvia Plath?

An  ultra-Left Wing, Man-hating, artiste. And with a phony, contrived British accent to boot.

And so, buoyed by the feminist left, little by little Plath's writings gained posthumous acceptance, culminating in an unheard of posthumous award of the Pultizer Prize in 1982.

Today, her lightweight feminized version of J.D.Salinger's Catcher in the Rye, The Bell Jar, is read by thousands of school girls each year.

And almost every year some deranged feminazis descend on her cemetery in West Yorkshire, England and chisel her married name, "Hughes" off of her headstone. Her husband always dutifully replaces it.

The Plath estate has scheduled some heretofore unpublished material of hers for release this year, on the 50th anniversary of her self-immolation.

We will not be standing in line, waiting for copies.


Here is a 50s newsreel clip reporting the conviction of communist spies, Julius and Ethel Rosenberg. Sylvia Plath claimed they were innocent and became maniac over the event. Soviet KGB files made public in the 90s proved that they were indeed guilty of betraying the United States:



(The facts on Plath's life referred to herein are from Sylvia Plath, A Biography, by Linda W. Wagner-Martin, 1987, Simon and Schuster. Wagner-Martin was professor of English at Michigan State University, specializing in modern literature and womens' literature.)

When Chicago Almost Got The Eiffel Tower (Got A Ferris Wheel Instead)

From the strange but true file comes the amazing fact that Chicago almost got its very own Eiffel tower, but turned it down in favor of a massive Ferris wheel.

The Eiffel Tower -
still gracing the Paris skyline

While the Eiffel tower still stands as an iconic symbol of Parisian grace and elegance, Chicago's famed Ferris wheel was sold for scrap and dynamited out of existence a mere 13 years after its creation.

According to Erik Larson's 2003 best seller, The Devil in the White City, here's how it all happened.

The Eiffel Tower was constructed for the 1889 World's Fair in Paris. It was a worldwide marvel of both aesthetic and engineering mastery which was retained as a permanent fixture. Of course it became the very symbol of Paris itself.

In an attempt to surpass the acclaimed French World Fair, Chicago's organizers of the 1892 Columbian Exposition World's Fair secured the most renowned architects from New York and the industrial North to design a stunning assemblage of buildings.

Led by Evanston resident and leading Chicago architect, Daniel Burnham, Chicago's fair organizers also signed on Frederick Law Olmstead, the landscape architect of Central Park in New York, to transform the swampy South side Jackson Park into a thing of exquisite natural beauty. It would be the site of the 1892 World's Fair.

Now, all Chicago needed to blow memories of France's fair out of the water was a knockout engineering marvel, akin to the Eiffel Tower in importance.


Chicago's World's Fair Ferris Wheel 1893,
chosen instead of Gustave Eiffel's tower

The Chicago organizing committee put the word out in US engineering circles. The proposals they got back were mundane at best and some were downright weird.

One completely wackizany engineer proposed what would have been the world's first bungee jump contraption.

He proposed construction of a 4,000 foot tower on which a car seating 200 people would be attached to a 2,000 foot long rubber cable. The car would then be pushed off the top giving 200 people the wildest (and probably only) bungee jump of the 19th century. (p.135)

The liability law lobby was non-existent in 1892, but fair planners could still see that the bungee jump operation might not end well.

Another crackpot proposed a 5,000 foot tower made of logs with a log cabin atop. Still another proposed a 9,000 foot tower that would have an appended toboggan slide from the top for daredevil snow sport enthusiasts. (p.134)

Almost at the point of despair, Burnham's committee received a letter from Gustave Eiffel, himself, offering to design a tower comparable to, but somewhat larger than his 1889 Parisian tower.

An Eiffel tower for Chicago -- wouldn't that have been something?

Burnham and Co. were seriously considering Eiffel's offer, but were confronted by a storm of outrage from the American engineering community. They insisted on a US engineering feat to be showcased at Chicago's US fair. (p.135)

A rusting civic eyesore, the Ferris Wheel
was demolished in 1906

So Eiffel was politely turned down.

In the end, the fair committee somewhat reluctantly accepted the bid of a young Pittsburgh engineer and steel specialist, George Washington Ferris.

He proposed to construct a wheel of steel, 250 feet in diameter. It would carry 36 cars, each about the size of a Pullman train car, equipped with a lunch counter and with an overall capacity of 2,160. It would propel riders 300 feet in the sky over Jackson Park -- a bit higher than the crown of the Statue of Liberty.

When they finally got Ferris' contraption up and running about 6 months after the fair opened, it was a huge success. Almost 1.5 million fair goers paid for rides on the wheel, making about $395,000 for Ferris' firm (in 1893 dollars.)

Over time, variants of the Ferris Wheel would become a mainstay of carnivals, fairs and amusement parks around the world and would make a fortune for G.W. Ferris' family.

But as an architectural landmark it was pretty damned useless.

After the Columbian Exposition closed in November of 1893, the Ferris Wheel was dismantled and re-erected near Lincoln Park on the North side to serve as an attraction anchor for an entertainment district. It failed as a major draw and in 1903 was sold to a scrap metal firm for $1,800.

They, in turn, sold it to a St. Louis consortium who exhibited it at the St. Louis Louisiana Purchase Exposition of 1904.

The owners of the Ferris Wheel, which had by now become a white elephant, abandoned it on the site of the fair. Deeming it a rusting eyesore, St. Louis city fathers had it blown up by dynamite in 1906.

So much for the engineering marvel of Chicago's 1892 World's Fair.

And to think that Chicago could have, instead, had an Eiffel tower, that would still be gracing its skyline today.

On second thought, given that it would be located in Jackson Park on the gang-infested South side, Chicago's Eiffel Tower would probably have become little more than an irresistible palette for the spray paint gang graffiti artistes of the Black P Stone Nation and the Latin Kings.

Rape Skyrocketing in Chicago: White Women Victimized by Black and Brown Rapists

The front page headline in the Tribune's free throwaway Redeye, blared out of the Red corner newspaper boxes on August 1st: 3 per day - Sexual Assaults in Chicago - And up to half go unreported!

What the Tribune's kiddie tabloid conveniently failed to report was the racial breakdown of rapes in Chicago.

They had no problem reporting the race breakdown of murders in Chicago in their subsequent August 2nd story on homicides here. That's because blacks are overwhelmingly the victims there (and the killers as well.)

But stony silence from Chicago's liberal media on the race of Chicago's rapists and the race of their victims.

That's because the vast preponderance of the women raped here are white women. And the majority of their rapists are black men.

According to one of the very few breakdowns by race culled from FBI crime stats, black-on-white rape is 115 times more common than the reverse.

The only two  famous alleged sexual assaults by white men on black women in the last two decades – the Tawana Brawley and Duke rape cases – turned out to be hoaxes.

So you can bet your sweet life that if white men were shown by the stats to be running down to Englewood in big numbers to rape black girls, the Tribune would have been shouting that from the rooftops.

Al Sharpton would get into a shoving match with Jesse Jackson to see who could get the most TV camera facetime. And those two odious race hucksters would be howling about white racism and calling on Obama's hack U.S. Attorney General to start investigating these as federal white "hate crimes."

The scribe who penned the August 1st rape article for Chicago's Newspaper for Dummies, the Redeye, was one Rachel Cromidas.

Redeye's crack reporter Rachel Cromidas

Asked by the Chicago Lampoon as to why the racial stats were happily reported in the homicide story but omitted from the rape story, she told us," The dataset I was able to use for my story did not include a racial breakdown. I don’t work on RedEye’s homicide coverage but my understanding is they have had more detailed data to work from."

Surprise, Surprise Surprise!!

Quite a curious lack of journalistic curiosity, wouldn't you say?

In light of some of the few recent 2013 high profile Chicago rapes, where the respective races of the perp and victim were reported:

 - the carjacking and rape of a white woman by a black teen

 -- the abduction from a Rogers Park bus stop and rape of a white Loyola U. student by an obese black man 

-- the serial black rapist of white women in Lincoln Park 

-- you would think a competent journalistic inquiry would demand a precise racial breakdown.

So what do the only available statistics tell us? A message the Tribune will not report.

The real repository of racism in America – manifest in violent interracial assault, rape and murder – is to be found not in the white community, but the African-American community. In almost all interracial attacks, whites are the victims, not the victimizers.

But that subject is taboo in the fantasyland of the mainstream liberal  news media. No wonder they're going out of business.

Chicago Tourists Mugged by Trayvon Wannabees - Jesse J. Says Run Like Rabbits

Another exciting weekend in Chicago as an elderly tourist and her teen daughter were swarmed by a flash mob of budding young Trayvon Martins while shopping on the Mag mile.

When confronted by feral young black thugs,
just run like rabbits: Jesse Jackson to whites

They had only been in town for 4 hours before being surrounded by the feral offspring of assorted South Side black baby mamas who then stold their I Phone.

One of the white victims, a 15 year old Florida girl, decided to stand her ground, however, and bear hugged one of the miscreants holding on to him until police arrived.

According to the Chicago Tribune, the young gentleman, no doubt a CPS honors student, hit her repeatedly in the head and snarled, "We didn't take your phone, you white bitch, leave us alone."

But surely since the offender was black and the victim white, crack Democrat States Attorney Anita Alverez would never press hate crimes charges for this, now would she?

Meanwhile, across town at the Daley Center, the Rev. Jesse Jackson, who himself has sired an illegitimate creature with a baby mama, told a gaggle of perpetual victims of white racism and big Trayvon Martin fans that white people should flee like rabbits when faced with assaults like the above mentioned.

As Jackson so eloquently and logically put it, "Someone says you have the right to eliminate someone you disagree or don't like, we need to end the stand your ground law so it doesn't end us," he said.

Earlier this week Barack Obama called for a national discussion on race. The mulatto chief executive said that he, himself, had once been made to feel bad when followed by store security guards because of his race.

Happily, the gang of South side black teens who mugged the 51 year old woman tourist and her 15 year old daughter weren't made to feel bad by being watched closely by cops while looking for prey on North Michigan Avenue.

That, of course, would be racial profiling and that would make them feel unwelcome on Chicago's once Magnificent Mile.

Chicago Catholics Should Boycott Collection Plate Over Racist Priest Pfleger

During the Victorian era in Great Britain, the Church of England was jokingly referred to as "The Tory Party at Prayer."


Racist Catholic Priest Pfleger fans
flames of black anti-white bigotry 


Today, in Chicago, the Catholic Church in Gresham, known as St. Sabina, could realistically be called, "The Black Panther Party at Prayer."

That is because that 11th ward Roman Catholic enclave labors under the absurd tutelage of the ecclesiatic egomaniac and overt anti-white racist, Fr. Michael Pfleger.

This liturgical lunkhead has been at it again.

Now, in the wake of the lawful acquittal of the Sanford, Florida community watch volunteer, George Zimmerman, for shooting a black miscreant in self defense, Pfleger weighs in to the Chicago Tribune calling the jury's action, "A travesty."

Of course, in so doing, Pfleger was helping to fan the flames of anti-white racial hatred that has led to scores of physical attacks on innocent white people across the country.

This is just the latest in the pipsqueak pastor's abuse of his status as an ordained Catholic priest.

In the past, he has used his pulpit to rail against the 2nd amendment to the US constitution -- actually threatening to kill a gun store owner.

He has gone on the leftist NPR to berate his Church and Cardinal.

He has turned his Catholic Church's pulpit over to the anti-American, anti-white bigot, Jeremiah Wright.

He has praised and defended the notorious black racist, white hating Jew-baiter, Louis Farrakhan.


Anti-whites Pfleger and Farrakhan



He has berated white parents for being legitimately concerned for their children's safety in black Chicago enclaves.


And most curiously, this celebate, unmarried Catholic cleric has legally adopted 2 black boys - again, in defiance of his Cardinal.

How the current Cardinal Francis George justifies this, in light of the Illinois Catholic Church's refusal to allow gay men and women to adopt children, truly defies comprehension.

The milquetoast Cardinal George has repeatedly refused to discipline this clown.

Perhaps white Chicago Catholics, who are the financial mainstay of his diocese should send his church a message by the simple expedient of boycotting the Sunday collection plate until the racist bigot Pfleger is sent packing.

Maybe then the eunich Chicago Catholic Cardinal will be forced to grow a pair.

Beautiful Summer Weather in Chicago: Some Nice Summer Music

Annie M., one of our devoted regular Chicago Lampoon readers, which we are delighted to report now number well into the double digits, wrote in to say that we were too negative and snarky in tone.

A Beautiful Day in Chicago

"Why do you have to be so critical and negative all the time?" she queried. "If it were the most beautiful day ever, you would still find something to complain about."

We have to admit that she is right. We are too negative and snarky.

Weatherwise, this is truly a glorious day in Chicago -- 84 degrees, nary a cloud in the pastel blue sky --if every day were like this climatically, the place would be almost habitable -- its' crooked political climate nonwithstanding.

So in deference to Annie's wishes we are going to write a nice, non-critical, barely snarky article.

We are going to post videos of some of our favorite summer songs. Hope you enjoy them.

Here's Frank singing his great 1967 hit, The Summer Wind. In the 60s, when Sinatra wasn't punching out drunken audience hecklers in Las Vegas, he was turning out some great easy listening hits:



OK, I know it's kinda gay, but ABBA's Our Last Summer was really a nice tune:



Here's a pretty good video of Bryan Adam's really great hit from 1984 Summer of '69. Reportedly, the song was not about the chronological year 1969, but about something else:



Here's John Sebastian and the Lovin' Spoonful performing their 1966 hit Summer in the City on what looks like the Ed Sullivan show:



Here's Don Henley's Boys of Summer.

This brings back a flood of memories as it was omnipresent on the airwaves during the summer of 1984. That's when I would hear it on the radio of my great little MGB while driving along the Delaware oceanside with a tall athletic blond from Tennessee named Debbie Roberts who claimed to be related to General Douglas MacArthur and who had worked for then-Congressman Al Gore.

We spent much of that summer eating hardshell crab, drinking beer and making love at Dewey Beach, Delaware, but actually couldn't really stand each other. She once told me that the only really good thing about me was my car. Charming girl, that.



And here, courtesy of The Chicago Schlager Music Review is one of our favorite German performers, Ella Endlich, singing her 2010 release Der Sommer ist Da (The Summer is Here.)

Ella Endlich was born behind the Iron Curtain in Soviet-occupied East Germany in 1984. She has emerged as a mid level pop star in Free Germany and likes to wear 60s-retro attire and perform stuff that sounds like it's straight out of that era, so, you see, we didn't win the Cold War for nothin':



So there you have it. A celebration of beautiful Chicago summer weather with some nice summer songs.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled snarky, hypercritical Chicago Lampoon bloviation.

Where Have All The Fountains Gone? Obama's Economic Miasma at Work

A somewhat poetic journalist of the World War II era wrote of the early 1940's that "the lights have gone out all across Europe."

Despite our $4 a gallon gas and seemingly endless double digit unemployment, that can't be said of Obama's America - yet.

The Legion Park Fountain
in happier times

But it does seem that Obama-era austerity has caused the outdoor fountains to go off all across Northern Chicagoland.

Astoundingly, here, well into summer 2013, the large architectural fountain at Chicago's Legion Park reminds dry for want of repair.

And the same for the fountains at the Leaning Tower YMCA landmark in Niles.

The Legion Park fountain sets at the very corner of Lincoln Ave. and Peterson on Chicago's far north side. It occupies a site that was until recently, the locale of a notorious "no-tell motel" favored mostly by Russian prostitutes and their enthusiastic clientle.

About a decade ago, after one of the emigre ladies-of-the-evening was found stuffed in a suitcase along the adjoining MWRD canal -- quite dead -- the Peterson Park neighbors clamored for its demolition.

The Legion Park Fountain this morning

Mayor Richie Daley complied and had his Chicago Park District erect an enormous fountain there at the gateway to the adjoining Legion Park lands -- on the site of the demolished house of ill repute.

The fountain subsequently became a favorite of dog walkers, whose mutts would chill out in the waters and of burkha-clad South Asian women who used it as a wading pool for their kiddies.

They did this despite the "No swimming or wading sign" because the English language imperialists at the park district did not translate it into Urdu or Gujarati - so the non-English speaking "New Americans" don't know what the hell is going on.

The fountain had also become a favorite of Mexican and Filipino photographers who used it as a cheap backdrop for their wedding party photo shoots.

Most summer weekends you would see blushing third world brides with their entourages, all bedecked in garish finery and cheap shoes, smiling for the birdie in front of the fountain's gushing aquatic output.

But that has all stopped, because the Park District can't afford to fix the damned thing anymore.

And the same has happened at the Niles Leaning Tower YMCA.

No Gushing Water at the
Leaning Tower YMCA this summer

The Y there is fronted by an almost full scale replica of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

It was built by an eccentric millionaire in the 20's to compliment his elaborate gardens. His estate was purchased by the Y and the Leaning Tower remained as something of a Niles landmark.

But despite getting piles of federal money to house SSI welfare recipients, the Leaning Tower YMCA still has loads of rooms going begging and says it can't afford the upkeep on the gushing fountains.

This is somewhat disconcerting to the hordes of touristas who, almost daily, flock to the tower to snap digital photos to send back home. Presumably they think it might delude the folks back in Keokuk into thinking they actually vacationed to Italy.

But visually, the Niles Tower is almost as good and you are far less likely to have your purse snatched or pockets picked by gaggles of Gypsy children in Niles than in Pisa.

Anyway, it's apparently too costly to fix the damned thing there too, so no spewing waterworks this summer.

In 1919, the United States went dry under the hapless Democrat Woodrow Wilson, when alcoholic prohibition went into force.

Today, with its double digit unemployment and seemingly endless economic miasma, the United States is again, apparently going dry under the hapless Barack Obama.

And wasn't he supposed to be the "infrastructure President?"

Batavia USD 101 Educrats Piss On US Constitution: Teachers Salaries Listed

The Orwellian zeitgeist of the Bush/Obama era seems to have firmly taken hold in suburban Batavia's United School District 101.

Bloviating Bureaucrat Barshinger

No sooner was the ink dry on reports that Obama's NSA has been gathering reams of personal info on millions of Americans, than word comes that Batavia's educrats are asking innocent kids to possibly self-incriminate on an intrusive personal questionnaire.

And when a principled teacher, one John Dryden, dared to characterize this as the patently unconstitutional and anti-American act that it was, he was outrageously disciplined.

The culprit here is one Dr. Jack Barshinger - a very well-fed,  fascist fellow-traveller, who has spent the past 37 years warming various educatic desk chairs in pursuit of his current $286,900 annual salary. (The little butterball will retire at the end of this month and pull down about 80% of that figure every year for the rest of his life in pension.)

He is the Superintendent of USD 101 who threw the book at Batavia High School social studies teacher, John Dryden for daring to suggest that his kids have protected constitutional rights as US citizens.

 Nitwit and Batavia School Bd.
President Cathy Dremel

Barshinger was backed up by the USD School Board, which is headed by the quite deservedly intellectually modest, Cathy Dremel.

When first running for the school Board in 2011, Dremel, who studied bean counting in college, but apparently very little else, told a local newspaper: "My greatest strength is that I don’t think I already know everything."

Truer words were never spoken.

In a nutshell, here's the source of the contretemps:

-- In April, social studies teacher, Dryden, taught his Batavia High School students about the U.S. Bill of Rights.

-- Shortly thereafter Dryden was told to pass out to his kids, a questionnaire which asked them to disclose their personal uses of alcohol or illicit drugs. The names of each student were printed on their individual forms.

-- Dryden was asked by a kid, how this gibed with the 5th amendment, which protects U.S. citizens from having to disclose possibly incriminating information to government authorities, such as USD 101.

-- Quite honestly, Dryden told them it didn't, and advised them to decline to disclose possibly damning information about themselves.

Teacher John Dryden

Enter the bloviating bureaucrat, Barshinger.

He wrote an open  letter to the community saying that the survey was not intrusive, but a well intentioned effort to pinpoint troubled students.

He wrote that it was merely "a data-gathering instrument that could be used to determine what social or emotional issues our high school students are experiencing, and whether individual students could benefit from new or increased supportive intervention by our staff."

In other words, "I'm from the government and I'm here to help you."

Then Barshinger suspended Dryden without pay and imposed a draconian set of conditions upon him, including a ridiculous requirement that he be subjected to verbal self-criticism techniques, reminiscent of those pioneered by Red Chinese dictator Mao-Tse-Tung's Red Guards.

According to the Chicago Tribune, the civil libertarian teacher must:  "when given a directive in a meeting, he must now repeat the directive back at the end of the meeting and agree to comply."

Batavia's educrats seek to turn out
a generation of compliant sheep

The fat little overpaid martinet, Barshinger, also is demanding that Dryden refrain from making statements or taking any actions that may tend to dissuade students from participating in school district initiatives. Also he can't use sarcasm or comment on his employment status.

On the 28th of May, Cathy Dremel and the other nincompoops on the Batavia School District 101 Board, voted to endorse these measures.

Now let's get this straight. Taxpayer subsidized educational institutions are supposed to be in the business of forging independent minded, critically thinking young American citizens who will be ready to take their place as vital members of a free society.

The whole rotten educational establishment of Batavia USD 101 seems to be in the business of turning out compliant sheep. And of pissing on the Constitution of the United States.

And of persecuting guys like Dryden who think otherwise.

Here are the latest available names and salaries of the employees of Batavia USD 101 as obtained by the Family Taxpayers Foundation via a Freedom of Information Act lawsuit. You can find out more about the individual employee, such as years of employment and employee title, by simply clicking on the name:

Batavia USD 101 2011 -
NAME	SALARY
Abraham, Laura	$81,701
Acosta, Sandra	$64,880
Adkins, Mary	$100,265
Adolph, Justin	$70,291
Albrecht, Vicki	$54,594
Allison, Justin	$45,792
Amesquita, Victoria	$79,564
Anas, Kelli	$63,642
Anderson, Crystal	$78,737
Anderson, Kim	$88,995
Anderson, Mark	$107,451
Andriano, Deanna	$112,126
Applehoff, Diane	$110,087
Arch, Susan	$109,051
Arrigo, Nancy

Celebrating Diversity in Maywood: 300 "Youths" Riot at Proviso East High School

Interesting news from the Chicago diversity and multiculturalism front  as on May 31st, 300+ predominantly African-American youths rioted on the last day of school.

Just the usual year end hi-jinx as 300
students riot at Proviso East High School

Proviso East High School, in lovely suburban Maywood, was the site of the contretemps, which featured machete wielding girls and innumerable pummelings.

The crack Maywood gendarmes made 10 arrests and all was back to normal after only a few hours of savagery.

As one sagacious Proviso East scholar and melee participant philosophized to NBC-TV news: "It's the end of the year, all the anger builds up, everybody wants to fight, why not everybody fight?

Next May 17th will mark the 60th anniversary of the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling in Brown v. Topeka Bd. of Education which forced racial integration of American schools and presumably Proviso East High will have special high spirited commemorative celebrations of this nature planned.

Here is the video report of the Proviso East High School student riot:



Here, by the way, is the Proviso East High School "Vision Statement":

Proviso East Vision Statement

"Proviso East High School is committed to enhancing student learning experiences through collaboration, utilization of best practices, data analysis, and professional development."

Chicago Gays Join Jews and "Nigras" on Democrat Party Plantation

It was actually kind of funny this past weekend to see the boys and girls of the lavender persuasion crying in their beer up and down Halsted Street.

Gays were crying in their beer
on Halsted St. this past weekend

They were morose because, despite their years of slavish devotion to Democrat party pols, those very pols told them to P--Off on the matter of their beloved same-sex marriage.

House Speaker Mike Madigan (Democrat-Chicago) adjourned the State House without even bringing to a vote the same-sex marriage bill.

Well, welcome to the plantation, fellas!

You see, when you are so solidly in one party's pocket - when your bloc vote is so dependably, incontrovertibly and predictably Democrat, the leaders of that party really don't have to give you the time of day.

After you've been demonizing Republicans and conservatives for years in the Windy City Times and elsewhere, just where the hell can you plausibly threaten to go?

Just ask your fellow plantation dwellers the Jews and blacks.

LBJ signing Great Society legislation

Last week the Obama administration cavalierly publicized would-be secret Israeli plans for an anti-missile defense system. American Jews were livid, but who cares?

Jews voted for Barack Hussein Obama's re-election by a landslide margin of 60% so he can tell them to P--off whenever he likes. He and his fellow Dems know that Jews will never leave the Democrat party reservation, so screw them.

Liberal Democrat President, Lyndon Baines Johnson signed the "Great Society" legislation in 1966 -- which gave us Food Stamps, AFDC, and those wonderful public housing projects.

And just prior to the signing, he told fellow Democrat leaders (according to his Texas colleague, Governor John Connally - in his autobiography) "With this bill I'm going to have those niggers voting Democrat for the next 100 years."

Prior to then, American blacks actually voted heavily Republican due to the fact that Southern Democrats opposed the Civil Rights Act and out of respect for the fact that the 1st Republican President ever, Abraham Lincoln, freed the slaves.

And of course LBJ was right. His welfare giveaways to blacks bought them off. Last election black voters voted for Obama by almost 95%, so Republicans really don't have to bother courting them -- nor do Democrats. Democrats know that LBJ's "niggers" aren't going to stray from the plantation.

I recall seeing a flyer lying on the sidewalk during the Chicago elections of 2006. It was put out by a gay political action committee and it urged fellow homosexuals to vote against Republican Tony Peraica for Cook County Board President because he was purportedly against gay marriage -- as if the Cook County Board has anything to do with that.

That helped bring us the enlightened leadership of the great Todd Stroger. He raised county sales taxes to the highest of any jurisdiction in the entire USA and ran Cook County into a fiscal quagmire.

Thanks, gay buddies!

Now you've got all those wonderful Democrat liberal pols you've lusted after  all these years and they're telling you to go P--off.

And why shouldn't they? Where the hell can you threaten to go? Face it, boys. Along with the Jews and LBJ's "Nigras" you're stuck on the Democrat plantation.

And the gate is locked.

Maifest Chicago 2013: Celebrating German Culture With the Jesse White Tumblers

The annual springtime celebration of Germanic culture in Chicago, Maifest 2013, will be observed this coming weekend on the North side.

Nothing says "German culture" like
watching Chicago ghetto youths do cartwheels

The German-American ethnic part of the program, which begins at noon on Sunday, will be highlighted by that iconic German-American group, (I am not making this up) The Jesse White Tumblers!

Now I don't know about you, but nothing says "German-American culture" to me more than watching a group of West-side Chicago African-American ghetto kids doing cartwheels and somersaults.

That is, with the possible exception of "5 Lesbians Eating A Quiche."

I bring that up, because the DANK Haus, which is one of the few remaining German-American outfits still left in Chicago, sponsored a theatrical endeavor of that name last year.

The Chicago DANK Haus sponsored
this thespian celebration of lesbian culture

Now what this thespian celebration of lesbian lifestyles has to do with German-American culture, quite escapes me.

Unless it is that the current administrator of the German-American DANK Haus Chicago, the curiously Polish surnamed, Nicholle Dombrowski, somehow reckons that girl-on-girl cunnilingus is as signal a German tradition as Tyrolean slap-dancing or Prussian goose-stepping.

Also, they will have music at Maifest Chicago 2013.

They are featuring a group from Germany named "Phenix." This is one of those dour, bleak, dark, surrealistic electro-pop German duets, the type of which Mike Myers used to lampoon on Saturday Night Live for being so dour, bleak, dark and humorlessly surreal.

Their big hit was a little number called, "I hate the 80s." Not quite "Weird Nun" of the Myers spoofs, but hardly something from "The Sound of Music".

Anyway Mayfest Chicago 2013 will be going on this weekend.

In 2009, the readers of Chicago's newspaper for dummies, the RedEye, voted it the best street festival in Chicago.

Consider the source there.

I can't imagine why Redeye readers would think that standing around on a dingy Chicago street, sipping a tepid $10 German beer from a plastic cup, listening to "Weird Nun" while watching the Jesse White Tumblers would be a German-flavored wild time.

Unless, perhaps, they were serving quiche.

(Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance):