Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The Blue Balls Music Festival: Lucerne Switzerland, July 22-30

For reasons I can't quite explain, I have been researching European pop music lately. In the course of doing this I have discovered that the Swiss have something called (I am not making this up) "The Blue Balls Music Festival."

If you don't believe me, just go to the site yourself here.

The following is lifted directly from the Blue Balls Festival website. It contains two of the acts that they will be featuring and the exact videos they use on the site.

I don't know who's crazier, the Americans for having spawned these weird 3rd-rate acts or the Europeans for paying hard earned Euros to go see them.

"Blue Balls Festival 11, 22.-30. Juli.

"The Blue Balls Festival presents 120 shows, a wide range of live music, street-art, photography, video, film and talks. For nine days it turns the entire Lucerne lakeshore into a melting pot of creativity and attracts more than 100,000 visitors. The Blue Balls Festival stands out from all the other festivals in Switzerland. It is unique. The whole programm will be published on April, 28. If you want to be informed about new shows subscribe for our newsletter

And here, from their website is the introduction to one of the acts, "The Secret Sisters." These comely lasses are sure to be able to get any man worked up into the Blue Balls spirit.

'The Secret Sisters' sind ein Geheimtipp. Produziert vom Meisterproduzenten T Bone Burnett, werden sie diesen Status wohl nicht lange aufrechterhalten können. Laura und Lydia Rogers orientieren sich an der Vergangenheit. An Honky Tonk, Blues, Bluegrass und Hillbilly. The Secret Sisters interpretieren diese Stile mit einem eigenen, modernen Soundkonzept und frischen, energiegeladenen Vocals. Die Secret Sisters eröffnen den Konzertabend für KT Tunstall. Live: 25. Juli, KKL Luzerner

The following is also taken directly from the Blue Balls website. It is too weird for me to enhance with commentary of any kind.

Der Sänger von ‚Gnarls Barkley‘ und Supersize-Funksoulbrother hat sich in den vergangenen Monaten in Windeseile zum meist diskutierten, meist-gebloggten, meist gesehenen und meist gehörten Artisten 2010 entwickelt. Die von Goldhändchen Bruno Mars produzierte Single ‚Fuck You‘ wurde in massiven 5 Kategorien für den begehrten Grammy Award nominiert. Die Awards werden am 13. Februar in Los Angeles verliehen. Danach kommt Cee Lo Green in die Schweiz. Live: 9. April, X-TRA, Zürich

Memo to Mayor-elect Rahm Emanuel: See if we can snap these acts up for "Taste of Chicago."


  1. Geez Louise, the 'Supersized' Gnarls Barkley's pink 'suit' could cover the Von Hindenburg blimb.

    Mr. Barkley had better lay off those Big Macs with extra sauce lest he wind up playing his final number at the Lucerne cemetery instead of the Blue Balls music hall.

  2. It's like their Woodstock, only modern, or something. Heheheheh. :D

  3. Hey, maybe, like Woodstock, they could get Joni Mitchell to compose an anthem to the event:

    "By the time we got to BlueBalls,
    We were half a million strong..."

  4. At least we can have a beer in public without getting arrested.
    Have you ever been on a swiss street festival? No? Then you've
    really missed something out, always awesome parties!

  5. With acts like these, they'd better at least let you drink in public -- in fact you'd need to stay quite smashed to forget you spent your hard earned money on this.


Comments invited, however anonymous commentors had better deal directly with the issues raised and avoid ad hominem drivel. As for Teachers' Union seminar writers -- forget about it.