Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Trader Joe's War On Easter

We're all acquainted with the "war on Christmas" by retailers who expunge mention of the Christian holiday from their advertising, but now the chic grocery purveyor, Trader Joe's has launched a "war on Easter."

The national chain, with 355 stores in 28 states and $8 billion in annual sales, is currently running ads in the Chicago media market for a specialized mustard that would be, "perfect for your holiday ham."

When I first heard that, I wracked my brain to decipher to which "holiday" they might be referring. The only ones imminent are the Christian celebration of Easter and the Jewish Passover.

But since Jews are proscribed by their dietary laws from eating pork, it could only be the Christian Easter that the ever-politically correct Trader Joe's was afraid to overtly mention.

And on their website, the chain (which despite its trendy, down home pretense is related to Aldi's) won't sell you Easter candy, but rather "Sweet Springtime Surprises." They are Easter candies, but the Trader Joe's trendies dare not concede the relationship of these traditional confections to the Christian celebration.

"We don't call ourselves "Your Neighborhood Store" just because it sounds catchy. We are committed to being good neighbors," gushes Trader Joe's on its website.

It seems that Trader Joe's good neighbor policy extends to everyone, excepting of course, those millions of Americans who overtly celebrate Easter, a traditional Christian holiday.


  1. I really hate it when stores do this. When I was a kid, it was Easter vacation, now it's "spring break." How about if we change Ramadan to "fall fast"? PC for me but not for thee?

    I hope you have a Merry Christmas, AND a wonderful Easter too, Lampoon. :) Indulge in some Easter ham with me, and we'll have an Easter Egg hunt, and we'll even go to Easter services. At church. :D

  2. Well, I was thinking of putting on my Sunday best hemp shoes and taking in the Gaia earth-worship service at the Peace Pole outside my Local Trader Joe's.

    I hear they're giving away free "Sweet Springtime Surprises."

  3. I really don't care what people call these holidays, but they're not Christian - they weren't to begin with, and I won't let them just be hijacked.

    Personally, I think religion should just die already - it would mean I could rejoin the Tea Party. But as even the most libertarian in the US are still bent on defending the lie that is Christianity, it's a long ways off.

  4. I understand what you're saying -- most Christian holidays were linked to pre-existing pagan celebrations, such as Christmas and the Saturnalia. But for Pete's sake, if they were "hijacked" that was 1,500 years ago. As such, Christian celebrations have become an integral part of the fabric of Western life and culture which, I think, the anti-religionists are intent on tearing down.

    I think that your position and mine represent the essential disparity between a purely libertarian position (yours)and a libertarian-Burkean fusionist one (mine.)

    I see value to maintaining the cultural mortar which holds together the bricks of the great Western cultural edifice because our Western culture is the only one on the planet where individual freedoms are truly respected.

    Ayn Rand and her objectivists weren't called "white bolsheviks" for nothing.

  5. I get it...we can't favor one and not the other. Well, why not favor them all! Why not celebrate them all. AND, really what is wrong with "Spring Break"? Doesn't "Spring Break" favor all of us? Believe how you want to believe, worship how you want to worship, celebrate how you want to celebrate. The reality is, The United States of America is a "melting pot" get over yourself and celebrate everyone's right to celebrate and honor the holidays however they want to!

  6. Right, and Trader Joe's and other Christianaphobics are not celebrating them all but pointedly trying to expunge mention of a purely Christian holiday -- unless you can think of another one at this time of year where ham is a traditional dish and eggs (a symbol or re-birth)candied or otherwise are part of the symbolism. No this is a pointed attack on a purely Christian holiday.

    As for America being a melting pot -- haven't you gotten the memo -- that went out with the 1950s. Today its a Balkanized assortment of "diverse" "multicultural" entities. All claim victimhood and special privileges, except for white Christians and the prevailing leftist elites think it's quite ok to piss on them and their traditions.

    But they run into a little trouble, when they insult their traditions, while at the same time trying to make a buck off them and expect no one to notice.

  7. So what about the Jehovah's witnesses that take part in passover with no dietary restrictions, let them eat ham, but can not have candy that says Easter on it because they do not celibrate pagan based holidays or holidays that worship those who are not God, aka all of them but passover.

    1. So what about them? They also believe that only 144,000 people will go to heaven and that it is already filled up with Jehovah's Witnesses making me quite desirous of going to the other place. BTW, shouldn't you be out going door-to-door hawking the latest edition of the Watchtower?


Comments invited, however anonymous commentors had better deal directly with the issues raised and avoid ad hominem drivel. As for Teachers' Union seminar writers -- forget about it.