Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Alderman Wants Gang Bangers To Become Bond Traders

There's never been a shortage of inane ideas emanating from Chicago's 50 aldermen, but the 17th Ward's Latasha Thomas has just put herself in the running for a Gold Medal in the Aldermanic Idiot Olympics.
Chicago Alderman Latasha Thomas

On page 10 of the 6/5 edition of the Chicago Reader, the longtime solon from the Auburn-Gresham-Englewood area, said she is worried about all the killings in her ward.

Ms. Thomas says the lack of job opportunities is what's driving young black men to become gun-wielding gang bangers.

So she has vowed to get to the root of the problem -- JOBS.

"My ward desperately needs jobs for these young people," she

So Alderman Latasha Thomas has come up with the solution.

(We are not making this up.)

She has proposed an ordinance to give more work to black firms on city bond deals. "We need to make sure we're giving experience to the next generation of professionals," she blurted.
Ald. Thomas' Future Municipal Bond Traders

Even the Reader's usually forgiving, lefty correspondent, Mike Dumke, was incredulous.

"Is the kid on the corner in Englewood going to get in on the next bond sale, even if your measure passes?" he queried.

"It's something," Thomas said.

We can just hear it now. Gangbanger buddies Jamal and Tyrone walking down an Englewood street discussing the latest city bond offering.

JAMAL: "Did you hear those motherf----ers at Moody's downgraded those new short term offerings to P-3?"

TYRONE: "Aight, deys comin' at us crooked so we goan down there wid oah bangas and check them Moody mofos."

That's right, Alderman Latasha Thompson,

It's something.



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