Chicago Sucks: Some Educated Views

As we endure yet another grey overcast day in the endless Chicago winter, the rosy protestations of Daley and the legions of Chicago boosters as to how this is "a world-class city," and "the greatest city in the world," tend to run a little thin.

Here are the words of some notables who, over time, expressed an eminently less favorable view:

"Chicago is unique. It is the only completely corrupt city in America."
Charles Merriam, unsuccessful mayoral candidate in 1911

"Satan (impatiently) to Newcomer: The trouble with you Chicago people is, that you think you are the best people down here; whereas you are merely the most numerous."
Mark Twain “Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar,” 1897

"When you feel like tellin a feller to go to the devil — tell him to go to Chicago — it’ll anser every purpose, and is perhaps, a little more expensive."
Mark Twain (”Snodgrass’ Ride on the Railroad”) 1856

"I have struck a city — a real city — and they call it Chicago. . . . I urgently desire never to see it again. It is inhabited by savages."
Rudyard Kipling, 1891

"Germany was the cause of Hitler as much as Chicago is responsible for the Chicago Tribune."
Alexander Woollcott, 1943

"Hell has been described as a pocket edition of Chicago."
Ashley Montagu “The American Way Of Life,” 1967

"Here is the difference between Dante, Milton, and me. They wrote about hell and never saw the place. I wrote about Chicago after looking the town over for years and years."
Carl Sandburg, 1961

"A facade of skyscrapers facing a lake and behind the facade, every type of dubiousness."
E.M. Forster

"There’s only one thing for Chicago to do, and that’s to move to a better neighborhood."
Herman Fetzer

"Chicago — a pompous Milwaukee."
Leonard Louis Levinson

"Loving Chicago is like loving a woman with a broken nose."
Nelson Algren

"Chicago is an October sort of city even in spring."
Nelson Algren, Newsweek, August 13, 1984

"Your machinery is beautiful. Your society people have apologized to me for the envious ridicule with which your newspapers have referred to me. Your newspapers are comic but never amusing. Your Water Tower is a castellated monstrosity with pepperboxes stuck all over it. I am amazed that any people could so abuse Gothic art and make a structure not like a water tower but like a tower of a medieval castle. It should be torn down. It is a shame to spend so much money on buildings with such an unsatisfactory result. Your city looks positively dreary."
Oscar Wilde, February 13, 1882

"I suppose Chicago's a nice enough place, but your weather is just so filthy."
John Cleese

"Chicago is a great place to be from."
Bob Fosse

Michael Jackson, Oscar Wilde, Jerry Lee Lewis and the new Obamaite Weimar Republic

So Michael Jackson died yesterday at age 50.

This is mystifyingly being treated as a matter of great societal import by the ever eager news grubbers at the major network electronic media and the MSN print media.

WOW!

Let's put this in perspective.

First, Michael Jackson was not that great a musical entity.

Let's face it. He never wrote a song or even strummed a simple chord on a guitar. He didn't even play the piano.

He did, however have a nice pre-pubescent adolescent boy voice -- rather like the Viennese castrati of Mozart's time -- and did have a penchant for grabbing his crotch on MTV concoctions.

He made nice pop music, but his greatest success came in the wake of the vapid 70's disco era. The music back then was so appallingly bad that had Michael Jackson not come around, accordian polka music might have moved in to fill the pop cultural void.

Michael Jackson was a pederast and child molester -- make no mistake about it.

He paid $12 million to the family of a young boy with whom he had slept and molested at his "Neverland Ranch." He shelled out that dough to induce them to drop criminal charges against him.

Say he was an "alleged" child molester, if you want, but in Chicago we call that hush money.

This 40+ year old adult male also said publically that "sleeping with a young boy is the kindest thing one can do for him," and that, "Cuddling with young boys is magical."

He also plied his underage sexual victims with wine -- "Jesus juice," he told them.

This guy was weird.

And clearly criminal!!

But he is being exulted by our corrupt, dying news media as an American hero. An international hero.

One African-American female was shown on ABC NEWS saying that this perverto "paved the way for Barack Obama."

YIKES!!!

Let's put this in perspective.

In the timeframe 1854-1900, Oscar Wilde was a literary leading light of the British Empire. Unlike the American negro boy wonder from Gary, Indiana, he was genuinely talented and a genuine genius. An Irish-Anglo poet, playwright and novelist, he gave us some of the greatest literature of the Western cultural experience -- most notably, The Portrait of Dorian Grey and The Importance of Being Ernest.

But quite like the negro boy wonder from Gary, Wilde had a penchant for seducing and raping young boys. He would find them in the poorer quarters of London and ply them with liquor (but his intellection was such he would have never used so pedestrian a term as "Jesus juice) and then he'd bugger them and pay them off to keep quiet.

Sound familiar?

But the British Empire was still sound then-- rather at its apogee.

And Wilde was nabbed for an sexually predatory affair with the college aged son of the 9th Marquess of Queensberry and -- far from being celebrated like our Gary boy wonder, he was sent off to Reading Gaol for 2 years at hard labor.

He was subsequently shunned by British society and slunk off to a well deserved death in obscurity.

Or take the 1950's rock 'n roll pioneering genius, Jerry Lee Lewis.

He dumped his wife to marry his 13 year old 1st cousin -- once removed. (Q: What is the definition of a West Virginia virgin? A: A girl who can outrun her brothers.)

When this came to public light, this genuine rock music genius, who was ranked the #24 top rock artist of all time by Rolling Stone magazine, was blacklisted from American radio and the American recording industry.

His descent was swift and marked. He went from playing $10k a night concerts to playing $250 a night gigs in obscure Southern beer joints.

Such was the recrimination of United States society and a coherent American moral code of the USA at its apogee.

But today -- a rank -- and one might say -- rather creepy pederastic character like Michael Jackson is celebrated by the American media elite.

Shall we further put this in perspective?

During the German Weimar Republic of 1918 to 1933, people like Michael Jackson were wildly celebrated.

Against a backdrop of national malaise, wild inflation and economic depression, that peculiar epoch in German history embraced and celebrated rampant prostitution, open homosexuality, kinky sex and transvestitism.

"Life is a Cabaret, old chum." Isn't that what Liza Minelli and Joel Grey sang?

But the Michael Jacksonesque celebratory era ended rather abruptly with the German national elections of 1933 -- with astoundingly tragic consequences.

Something for Americans to contemplate.

I'm very sorry -- but there is nothing funny here.