Where Evanston "Tilted Kilt" Bid Went Wrong

Diversity Fan Tisdahl

Mayor Elizabeth Tisdahl, Monday, put the kibosh on restaurateur, Ted Mavrakis' bid to open a "Tilted Kilt" bar and eatery at the long vacant Fountain Square site in downtown Evanston.

Tisdahl said the theme restaurant featuring scantily clad waitresses in plaid Celtic outfits did not fit Evanston's idea of diversity.

By that, she meant that it was sexist.

Her sentiments, as expected, had a noisy "Amen corner" in ultra-liberal Evanston.

Tilted Kilt Uniform

Typical of the moral outrage was that expressed by one, Cindy Farenga, harridan. "It is the antithesis of everything Evanston stands for. There is no place for sexism in Evanston. What does this tell our daughters? What does it tell our sons?”she bleated.

Mavrakis, who has operated the Giordano's in Evanston for more than 20 years should have known better.

He should have learned by now that in  the Evanston secular left's fevered world view, economic development can only occur if it is "politically sensitive."

That is why I say, Ted: get right back on that horse and re-submit the liquor license application. But this time, show some political savvy.

Here are sure-fire restaurant themes that will assuage Evanston's tender multicultural sensibilities while containing the requisite sex appeal:

Fenian Fellows Club

In the leftist catechism, gays qualify as a protected class. Round up some hard bodied homosexual waiters, put them in plaid Speedos and set them to work serving steaming corned beef and frothy pints of Guinness stout. You could hold "Human Rights Campaign" fundraisers there and Jan Schakowsky would probably bring Barney Frank with her for the ribbon cutting.

The Zenda Tribal Lounge

You could show your concern for the endemic unemployment in Evanston's African-American community and your multiculturalism by simply adopting a Zenda South African tribal motif, attiring some of the local unemployed girls in traditional Zenda attire and have them serve enticing African delicacies and hearty rum concoctions. After all, Evanston already has a grade school with an Afro-centric curriculum, why not an Afro-centric lounge?

Trader Ted's

Sure, it's been done before, but American Samoans are a protected class under the affirmative action racial spoils system and everyone enjoys a nice little umbrella in their drinks now and then. Here, you'd just have to scrounge up some rattan furniture and palm fronds for the bar. And with the employment of girls in traditional Samoan garb to serve up cold fruity libations and seafood treats, you have created a genuine celebration of our wonderful American diversity.

So like I said, Ted, get right back up on that horse, re-submit the liquor license bid and dare Tisdahl to spit on the multiculturalist credo.

And keep invoking the mantra: Our diversity is our strength!