Tuesday, May 24, 2011

The Milt Rosenberg Extension 720 Drinking Game

Dr. Milt Rosenberg
Once long ago on a college campus far, far away I regularly participated in a Saturday evening drinking game called "Hi Bob."

The game was tied to The Bob Newhart Show--- the first Newhart show where Bob played a Chicago psychologist who would be seen in the opening credits coming out of a condo at 5901 N. Sheridan (which still stands) and taking the El to his office at 440 N. Michigan Ave.

The rules of the game held that whenever anyone on the show said, "Hi Bob," everybody had to take a shot of whiskey.

Invariably, Emily would enter about 20 seconds into the show and say, "Hi, Bob." And about 45 seconds later, Howard would come over from across the hall and say, "Hi, Bob," and Bob would go off to work and Carol would greet him as he arrived with a "Hi, Bob" and Jerry the dentist would come by and say, "Hi, Bob" and all this "Hi, Bobbing" would require the consumption of 4 shots of cheap booze before even the first commercial break.

So by the time the Mary Tyler Moore show came on, immediately after Newhart, those who weren't already hugging the porcelain goddess would be well lubricated for a Saturday night out on the town.

But I am older now and far removed from such silly sophomoric activity.

Today, I have put aside the consumption of the cheap rotgut whiskey of my undergraduate days and I have long abandoned the mind-numbing frivolity of The Bob Newhart Show.

Today I drink only the better grades of cognac and enrich my mind with Milt Rosenberg's much weightier, scholarly interview show, WGN radio's Extension 720.

And I have invented the Extension 720 Milt Rosenberg drinking game.

Here are the rules:

When Milt makes any reference to "historical counterfactuals" -- 3 shots

When Milt says, "As you know, I was a Professor of Social Psychology at the University of Chicago in my earlier incarnation" --- 1 shot

When Milt refers to his having been an assistant Professor at:

Yale -- 1 shot
Dartmouth -- 2 shots
Ohio State -- 3 shots

When Milt makes reference to the degrees he earned at:

Brooklyn College -- 1 shot
University of Wisconsin -- 2 shots
University of Michigan -- 3 shots

When Milt refers to having grown up a poor boy in Brooklyn -- 1 shot

When Milt says, "We now have to perform our own service to capitalism with these commercials" --- 1 shot

When Milt makes reference to listeners "down under in Australia" -- 1 shot

If he says "Australia" with an Aussie accent -- 2 additional bonus shots

I tried out my formula for this new game the other night and it works pretty well.

Milt's guests were two authors who dealt with historical matters.

A mere 4:36 into the show, Milt brought up his first historical counterfactual (3 shots.) Then at 6:58 he posed a second counterfactual (3 shots) and a third again at 9:27 (3 shots)

That was 9 shots of cognac in only 9:27 -- almost a shot a minute!

Later on there was a reference to Dartmouth (2 shots), three references to the service of capitalism (1 shot ea.) a Brooklyn mention (1 shot) and a bonus reference to listening down under with an Aussified accent (3 shots.)

All in all, it was an excellent broadcast.

I think it was about the Civil War ------

or something.