Cheese in the News: Controversies Abound

Barristers for Foamation Inc. threatened a lawsuit
over the use of their trademarked headgear

The busybody health-nut assault on the American gastronomy marches on unabated.

News now comes from North of the cheddar curtain that the iconic Green Bay Packers and Wisconsin Badgers cheesehead has been subject to a sacrilegious assault.

It seems that a group of health food buttinskys calling themselves the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, erected a billboard outside Green Bay's Lambeau Field illustrating the horrors of cheese consumption with a grim reaper attired in a cheesehead.

Barristers for Foamation, Inc., makers of the Wisconsin hi-fashion haberdashery, cried foul and forced the medical chicken-littles to airbrush out their trademarked headgear.

Still the medical flimflammers remain unrepentant, insisting that cheese consumption is a major source of most of what ails America. They rail against consumption of cheeseburgers, pizza, nachos and other cheese-laden death traps.

The health-nut MDs also rail against
cheeseburgers, pizza and nachos

The killjoy quacks have also come out against hot-dog consumption and we are eagerly awaiting their guilty verdict on Wisconsin's beloved bratwurst.

Our self-appointed First Food Nanny, the svelte, Michelle Obama, is reportedly watching the Wisconsin food fight with rapt attention.

Now Its Payback Time For IL GOP Dream Act Sellout Senators

Flanked by members of the ICIRR illegal alien lobby
Gov. Quinn celebrates passage of "Dream Act"

On May 4th, the Illinois State Senate passed a bill to grant in-state tuition to the offspring of illegal aliens illicitly residing in Illinois.

Eleven Republican State Senators voted for the bill along with the Democrat majority.

With a mariachi band playing giddily at the state capitol, that august body voted 45-11 to pass the cutely monikered, "Dream Act," which also facilitated the setup of a scholarship fund for the illegals, which, for now, will be privately endowed.

The illegal alien lobby, ICIRR was ecstatic and with good reason. For two decades they have been pushing illegal alien amnesty, one drink at a time. So this was a full fledged boilermaker with 100 proof booze.

Veiled with high-sounding humanitarian concern "for the children," (it's always for the kiddies) it constituted yet another step toward legitimizing the half million illegals who snuck across our borders and squatted  within the confines of this particular state.

A mariachi band played giddily at the State Capitol

The bill would have waltzed through the Democrat dominated upper chamber without the encouragement of the RINO 11. But their apparent insulting dismissal of their middle class conservative voting base -- and their apparent unconcern for the citizen children of the middle class -- is more than a simple insult.

The "combine" GOP establishment should be told to kiss their dream of a GOP state Senate majority goodbye, because thoughtful citizens shouldn't consider even lifting a finger for these sellouts. These 11 pols cast their lot with the imagined  power of pro-illegal alien voter cohorts. I hope they get lots of liberal Latino votes, because I think -- some of them at least -- will need them.

Of the dirty eleven, nine are seeking re-election and will be on the ballot on March 12th. Some are in safe seats. Some are not. And some will face primary challenges.

Here's a rundown:

State Senator Pam Althoff 32nd district, McHenry County has announced that she is running for re-election. She not only voted for the de-facto amnesty grab, but sent out a news release saying what a great thing it was.

State Senator Larry Bomke Springfield area, 50th district has announced that he, having been gerrymandered out of his base, is not running. He is going back to his real estate business. Good Riddance! (And good luck in this RE market.)

State Senator Bill Brady, from the 44th district Springfield area, was the milquetoast GOP candidate for Governor last time who defied a nationwide anti-Democrat trend and lost to the clownish Pat Quinn. He has announced that he will be running for reelection.

Brain dead GOP combine clowns Dillard and Brady
were all for the illegal alien aid bill but Dillard
may have a primary fight

State Senator Kurt Dillard of the DuPage suburban 24th district has announced that he is running, but in his redrawn district he will likely face a primary challenge from State Rep Chris Nybo. Watch this one!

State Senator Dan Duffy 26th district Lake & McHenry Co. & Barrington announced he will be running.

State Senator Tom Johnson, of the 48th West suburban dist, was the 65 year old seat warmer, hand picked by the RINO party chairmen to fill Cong. Randy Hultgren's seat. He said he is not running. Good riddance!

State Senator Matt Murphy said he will be running for reelection to his Northwest suburban, 27th district seat. This is the fat-faced guy who is always making noises about his fiscal conservatism, but he's happy to turn a blind eye to the costs of educating (and feeding and giving hospital care)half a million 3rd world illegal alien settlers. Perhaps he should have noticed the fact that the ICIRR illegal alien lobby was one of the groups down in Springfield in February 2010 demanding an increase in the Illinois state income tax rates.State Senator Christine Radogno will be seeking reelection from her 41st dist West suburban seat which includes Burr Ridge, Darien, Downers Grove, Homer Glen, Indian Head Park, LaGrange, Lemont, Lisle, Naperville, Western Springs, Willowbrook & Woodridge.

She is the first ever female Republican State Senate minority leader. Kind of makes you want to re-think woman's suffrage, doesn't it?


If she can avoid domestic battery charges
 illegal alien fan Suzi Schmidt will run again


State Senator Ron Sandack of Downers Grove, was appointed to his seat and he was then thrown into the same district as Radogno. So he is now seeking the 81st district House seat. He'll likely have a primary challenge. Watch this one!!

State Senator Suzi Schmidt, she of domestic battery fame, has announced that she will seek reelection to her 31st district seat which includes Beach Park, Grayslake, Gurnee, Ingleside, Lindenhurst, Old Mill Creek, Round Lake, Third Lake, Wadsworth, Winthrop Harbor and Zion.

State Senator Dave Syverson, the perennial combine poster boy has said that he will be running in his Belvidere, DeKalb area rural district.

Keep an eye on these clowns. And remember how they spit in your face this past May 4th.

Evanston Cops Beat Bushes For Teen Potheads-NU Student Mugged At Gunpoint

To combat its burgeoning crime rate, Evanston has begun putting walking beat cops on the streets. They can be regularly seen in the downtown commercial district but I didn't know they were out beating the bushes along the sewerage canal on the North suburban city's West side.

Word comes on page 2 of last Friday's edition of the Daily Northwestern (The Big-10's first all girl newspaper) that 2 Evanston cops were on foot patrol last Tuesday at 5pm traversing a path in the weeds along the Peter Jans golf course.

There, along the sewerage canal they spied 2 teen age miscreants sitting on a bridge and smoking a yellow bong.

Crack EPD Wilderness Trackers
nabbed Teen potheads

The EPD Daniel Boone wilderness trackers nabbed the fiends, confiscated the bong and a green organic substance which tested positive for cannibis, and carted these vicious desparados off to the Evanston hoosegow.

All in an Evanston lawman's day's work.

Meanwhile word comes from WLS radio news of the first armed mugging of a Northwestern student of the fall semester.Barely had the orientation guides finished herding around the gaggles of incoming freshmen in their geeky green "Class of 2015" t-shirts, than the local Evanston toughs were resuming their annual open season on Northwestern students.

At 12:15 on Sunday morning, two black men in their 20s found a stray Northwestern student sauntering on Orrington near Simpson St. They put the NU kid in a headlock and pulled a gun on him demanding his wallet. When he said he didn't have his wallet, they pistol-whipped him, shoved him to the ground and drove off.

Evanston's hate crimestoppers in action

Evanston police say they are investigating and Northwestern University has issued its predictable student security alert.

Meanwhile the Evanston City Council has stepped up its anti crime regimen by 1) outlawing Tilted Kilt sexy bars, lest libidinous middle aged conventioneers begin accosting Evanston's maidens in the streets 2) declaring war on plastic bag litterers by considering a city-wide ban on all grocery store bags , 3)reaffirming the city's status as a "Nuclear Free Zone" and 4) sponsoring its annual 5k run against "hate crimes."

So the moral of the story is if you find yourself with an uncontrollable urge to stoke up a blunt while in Evanston, be sure to do it in the weeds on the Skokie side of the sewerage canal and if you must travel to Evanston be sure to bring your own recyclable shopping bag --- and a bullet-proof vest.

Saturday Smoking Lounge: Come To Marlboro Country

Anyone who was old enough to sit in front of the boob tube in the 60s certainly remembers the Marlboro Man TV commercials.

With the stirring Western theme (it was the musical score for the classically great movie, The Magnificent 7) and the Marlboro Man with his chiseled masculine features, they were as much a part of the 60s TV landscape as Andy Griffith or the Beverly Hillbillies.

More than anything, the Marlboro Man ads were responsible for propelling Marlboro from an also-ran brand in the 50s to the #1 worldwide best seller.

"Boros" as we called them, were this writer's constant companion through the first two years of undergraduate education (we could even smoke in lecture halls and in discussion rooms), before they were replaced by Camel straights, with their higher quality Turkish tobaccos.

Take a trip down memory lane with this 1963 black and white video of the softer-themed version of the Marlboro Man TV commercial:

(you have to adjust the video down to 240p to get this to run)

Chicago Media Maintains Race Reporting Double Standard

WLS reported that the suspect in the
Avondale hit-and-run killing was a "man."

The racial censorship double standard continues in Chicago's ever politically-correct liberal news media.

WLS radio reported this morning that the suspect in Monday's River North bank robbery was "a blond haired, white woman wearing a baseball cap and pony tail."

For the past 2 days they have reported that the suspect in the Sunday hit-and-run killing of 82 year old Margaret Heffernan was "a man in his 20s or 30s wearing dark clothing."

Privately, Chicago Police say the suspect is "dark skinned, Hispanic in appearance."

Given the epidemic of Latino hit-and-run crimes in the Chicago area, that should come as no surprise.

But the Chicago news media won't give the full description of the Latino suspect. They just want you to keep on the lookout for a man.

The Chicago Tribune's milquetoast editor, Gerould Kern said on June 10th that racial descriptions of suspects serve no useful social purpose.

And lefty Tribune columnists Mary Schmich and Dawn Turner Trice wrote that racial descriptions of minority criminal suspects make minorities feel bad so they should be relegated to the Orwellian memory hole.

So all you citizen crimestoppers out there, keep a sharp lookout for a man, 20 to 30 years old.

Big Chicken Flap in Chicago's 18th Ward

Alderman Lona Lane of the far South side 18th ward has embarked on a crusade to keep Chicago chicken-free. I have seldom been in agreement with this Obamaite, liberal Democrat solon, but on this score I am 100% in her corner.

Ms. Lane has introduced a bill to the Chicago City Council to ban chicken coops, chicken breeding and chicken keeping in her Marquette Park area ward.

Why, you might ask, has this become an issue?

Well it seems that some of our fellow citizens are chicken fanciers who have taken to keeping sizable assemblages of the fowl things on their urban properties.

Much of this activity seems to be taking place in Ms. Lane's 18th ward.

In fact, the 18th ward chicken advocates have organized themselves into a Google group entitled (I am not making this up) The Chicago Chicken Enthusiasts Group.

There and on their Facebook page, they gather to chat about chicken lore, exchange chicken-raising tips and to hatch dark plots to foil Alderman Lane's onerous anti-chicken legislation.

I learned about this roiling controversy by tuning in left-wing WCPT radio's Sunday morning Mike Nowak gardening show yesterday. On the "sustainable food segment" of his broadcast Nowak interviewed one Michelle Thoma, a chicken-fancier and ringleader of the Google chicken enthusiasts group.

Ms. Thoma said she raises chickens on the roof of her urban abode. Kind of free roof range chickens.

She says she does this because the chickens supply her with healthful, organic, chemical free eggs and because chickens are really nice animals.

Her cantankerous neighbors do not agree.

They object to her rooster's around-the-clock cock-a-doodle-dooing (as loud as a dog's barking), to the defecatory odors emitted by the fowl creatures and to the notion that her aviary is giving the neighborhood the ambience of Jed Clampett's pre-Beverly Hills, Bugtussle, N.C.

Alderman Lane tends to agree and adds that urban chicken-keeping can lead to avian diseases that would kill robins and sparrows and other nice birds.

The WCPT chicken enthusiast said that she will be conducting her annual informational chicken tour of the ward (formerly called hen-a-palooza) this coming Sunday for the benefit of Aldermanic staffers and others to allay citizen chicken concerns.

To counteract this insidious pro-chicken propaganda, The Chicago Lampoon, in conjunction with Alderman Lona Lane's office will be conducting an anti-chicken teach-in at the very same time.

It will take place next Sunday from 1 to 2pm at the W. 87th Street and Western Avenue KFC.

All are invited.

Saturday Smoking Lounge: Tareyton As High Art

Tareyton's became one of the first, more or less, light cigarettes, in the 60's when they introduced some kind of charcoal filter.

In prep school, one of our proctors (a senior who was 17 years old or so) would have his mother buy him a carton of Tareyton's every week or so.

We would think it a matter of high scientific exploration to take apart his Tareyton filters to find the little mound of granulated charcoal inside.

But in the 50's, before they instituted this great smoking innovation, and before they came out with their famous, "I'd rather fight than switch," commercials, it seems that Tareyton was best known for the high art of its TV commercials as in the following Tareyton TV ad:



Today in this benighted era of tacit tobacco prohibition, Tareytons are still available, but only at specialty tobacco shops or on-line.

Arne Duncan: Let's Double Bloated Teachers' Salaries

Arne "Goober" Duncan

Arne Duncan is Obama's education Czar who was the mastermind of the laughably inept Chicago Public School System, where a full 6% of high school freshmen will earn a bachelor's degree by age 25.

Exhibiting the same jackassery that animated his Chicago performance, Duncan said Friday that we should double the salaries of America's unionized government school teachers.

Apparently no one sent Duncan the memo which shows that most government school teachers are as wildly overpaid as they are poorly educated.

Make no mistake about it, government school teachers are ridiculously overpaid. A full 55% of the teachers at the Highland Park/Deerfield High School pull down more than six figures a year for their 9 month gigs.

Retired Illinois teachers haul in up to 85% of their highest career salaries for life. That is why, in some downstate Illinois towns, the richest person is a retired public school teacher.

But Arne Duncan says taxpayers should double their salaries.

This prompted WLS radio talker, Don Wade, on Tuesday to wonder aloud, "Who are these people in the Obama White House?"

It prompted me to add aloud, "And what planet did they come from?"

Here, from the Family Taxpayers Foundation Teachers salary database are the top 200 salaries of Illinois Public school employees for 2010. Arne Duncan says they should be doubled:


All Districts for for 2010:

Russell, Lucille $413,000
Engler, Thomas $350,154
Dada, M Mohsin $341,747
Fleming, Larry $334,912
Lamberson, Jonathan $318,324
Giannetti, Glen $307,471
Many, Thomas $299,600
Harper, John $297,605
May, Loren $292,157
Mical, Gary $288,564

Amnesty For Jailed Illegals in Fantasyland Cook County

Amnesty author "Chuy" Garcia at ICIRR rally

The illegal alien lobbyists of the Illinois Coalition for Immigrant and Refugee Rights (ICIRR) were positively abuzz will glee over the Cook County Board's Wednesday vote to grant de facto amnesty to Chicago's border jumpers.

By a 10-5 vote, that august body decreed that illegal aliens currently residing in the Cook County hoosegow should be set free to prowl Chicago's streets. This rather than turn them over to the deportation-obsessed storm troopers of the ICE.

Board members and the ever-gullible Chicago news media were under the impression that the amnesty would only apply to illegal aliens being held for misdemeanors.But within 24 hours of the diktat, the nation's second largest county was turning illegal alien felons out onto the streets.

The author of the law, Southwest side Democrat Commissioner, Jesus "Chuy" Garcia and his pals at ICIRR appeared jointly to laud the benevolent development.

After all, what's a felony or two by some of Chicago's storm-tossed huddled masses, just yearning to be free and to do jobs the flaccid Americano just won't do?

Cynics will wonder what will transpire when one of the furloughed illegal alien miscreants ends up pulling a Willie Horton a few weeks after release.

Willie Horton

Willie, you will recall, was the fellow furloughed from jail by Massachusetts Governor Mike Dukakis, who while free went on a rape and murder spree.

But while that would be a cause for distress elsewhere, here in fantasyland, multiculturalist PC Chicago it would be no problemo.

You see, the Chicago news media, ever-true to its multiculturalist credo, seldom reports the race or immigration status of such persons when it might be an embarassment to the overall self-esteem of the preferred, protected race or ethnic group.

The editor of the Chicago Tribune has said that this "report-no-evil" is the enlightened policy of his forward thinking journal.

So if one of the released illegal aliens, who should have been deported, goes on a rapacious, murderous crime spree, we simply won't know about it.

Problem solved.

Braille Instructions for Diaper Changing

Most of us by now have seen the profusion of diaper changing stations springing up in the rest rooms of Chicago's fast food joints and other public accomodations.

They're now in all the area McDonald's and Jewel-Osco's.

Thankfully, not having need for their employment, I have seldom paid them much mind. But on one recent visit to such an accomodation, as will happen there, I found myself with time to ponder the device which was hanging on the wall across from the place of my seated repose.

There I discovered that the Koala Kare Products Corporation, of Englewood, Colorado, thoughtfully provided instructions for the use of its diaper changing table in English, Spanish, French, Italian, German, Japanese and Braille.

Now I can understand the need for multi-lingual diaper changing instructions, given the hordes of Germans, Italians and Japanese who are illegally flooding over our borders and snapping up all the child care-diaper changing jobs that Americans just won't do.

But braille?

Do you really want a blind person caring for your kiddie? Do you really want a blind person taking your baby out to a McDonalds, stumbling up to the counter to buy him a Happy Meal and then fumbling his or her way over to the rest room to read the braille instructions before changing his diaper?

I have noticed that Obama has been on the airwaves with a public service announcement touting the wonders of the Americans with Disabilities Act on its 20th anniversary.

These braille diaper changing instructions, are, no doubt, required by the ADA and a testimony to its wonderful works.

But if you feel you really must hire a disabled person to change your baby's diapers, rather than hire a blind person, perhaps it would be best to hire one with anosmia. That dreaded disability is defined as a lack of functioning olfaction, or in other words, an inability to perceive odors.

That would make for a happier child care employee and keep the ADA enforcers of the Obama regime happy too.

Maine Twp. School Dist. 207: Millions For Fat Salaries, Not A Penny For Transparency

Maine East High School

Posted below are the names and 2012 salaries of all teachers and administrators for Maine Township High School District 207.

(Editor's Note: When this article was initially published only the 2010 salaries were available. It has been updated to reflect the 2012 personnel and their salaries.

On June 18, 2012, the Maine Twp. District 207 school board, with only 1 dissenting vote, voted to further increase these exorbitant salaries and to add annual cost of living increases.)

Maine District 207 made the news on July 15th for being one of the area school districts that still refuses to record and put on-line the proceedings of its school board.

Maine East and Maine South and Maine West high schools and the District 207 administrative offices are wired to the hilt -- totally in step with the internet age.

But for parents and taxpayers it's the horse and buggy era. If they want to find out what their elected school board members are up to, they'll have to take off an entire night every month, get a babysitter and physically trek down to South Dee Road in Park Ridge to monitor their own school board.

Dist 207 School Bd.

You would think it would be a simple matter for a school district that has on its payroll a computer installer/repairman who is hauling down $121,274 a year as well as a business computer programmer, to whom they are forking over $106,438 a year, to simply put their meetings on-line.

But the fact is, the Maine Township school board and its fat-salaried administrators would probably just as soon not have pesky parents, taxpayers and reporters looking into what they've been up to.

And from the looks of the wildly opulent teachers salaries they've saddled the taxpayers with, I can see why.

They have an astounding 333 teachers and administrators on their payroll hauling down more than $100k a year.

You can see all of the names and salaries below, but here are some of the highlights of the Maine Twp. High schools wild salary spending spree:

--- 16 Gym Teachers hauling down between $104 and $153k a year.

--- Drivers Ed teachers being paid $149k, $145k and $121k

--- More than 20 Guidance Counselors, only 3 of which are hauling down less than $100k a year.

---Sex Ed. teachers being paid $119k, $114k and $97k

--- $137k drama coaches, $140k art teachers and a $110k dance teacher (Did Maine Twp. manage to land Sir Laurence Olivier, Pablo Picasso and Fred Astaire for these high dollar gigs?)

--- 4 librarians pulling down between $130k and $100k

--- 5 six figure social workers and 3 psychologists making between $116k and $165k

--- 9 English as a second language and bi-lingual ed teachers raking in more than six figures (remember this the next time someone tells you that there are no taxpayer costs to immigration)

And keep in mind, most of these salaries are for 9 months of work.

And keep in mind, most of these high dollar employees were from schools of education, which, according to Professor Walter Williams, are populated by the poorest students in the country with the lowest test scores.

And keep in mind, most of their "Masters degrees" were simply meaningless busy-work degrees, from these very colleges of education, which Williams calls, "the slums of American academia."

Here is a complete list of the salaries from Maine Township High School District 207. It was compiled from the database of the Family Taxpayers Foundation, which demanded them from the State Teachers' Retirement records, under the Freedom of Information Act. You can get more info on the individual payrollee (yrs. of employment, speciality etc.) by simply clicking on the name:

Teacher Salary Database Maine Township HSD 207 2012 - Download data NAME SALARY Abraham, Gilit $120,048 Adams, Allyson $76,565 Adams, Steven $149,474 Addante, Christopher $144,505 Adkins, Kenneth $71,246 Aguirre, Miguel $104,594 Albee, Erin $47,393 Alden, Aileen $94,138 Allen, Amy $137,183 Amidei, Juli $137,390 Archer, Samantha $108,580 Arguello, Jose $111,315 Atkinson, Bruce $135,213 Auge Caliendo, Suzanne $54,972 Awad, Aida $143,184 Bader, Carla $99,609 Bahamon, Rosanna $71,008 Baima, Sharon $128,954 Baker, Susan $100,737 Baldwin, Christine $138,121

Our Ill-Educated Public School Teachers

Prof. Walter Williams

This past Monday, George Mason University Professor, Walter Williams told WLS talk hosts Wolf and Proft that our public high school teachers are generally, the most intellectually challenged, least accomplished, essentially stupid students turned out by our nation's colleges.

The renowned African-American Professor of Economics at 9:55 into the interview said:

"Schools of Education are the slums of academia.

"If you look at SAT scores, the students with the lowest SAT scores become education majors. The professors in the Schools of Education are the least academically respected faculty on the college campuses.

"Students who do graduate with a degree in the College of Education, if they go on to take the LSAT to get into law school or the GRE to get into professional school or the MCATs to get into medical school score the lowest of any students in these graduate exams.

"It just shows there's not a lot of academic quality among people who are educationists."

The Chicago Lampoon has published more than a dozen complete lists of teachers with their salaries from area schools this past year and will do so again in the coming academic year.

The publication of the, usually very bloated, salaries of these unionized government workers usually provokes a wave of outraged comments from the taxpayers who subsidize their above average incomes.

It has also provoked a gaggle of teachers' union apologists from the education establishments to post comments justifying the big salaries.

And one of the most common apologias is that the teaching salarymen very often have advanced degrees. Usually Masters degrees from some school of education.

Which advanced degrees according to Professor Williams, in real academic terms, aren't worth a warm pool of spit.

Skokie, Rogers Park Black Youths Charged in Latest Mob Attack



Stanton Demaret of Skokie
Charged in Black Mob Attack


According to WLS radio news, seven black teenagers have been charged with mob action for beating and robbing a 17-year-old boy late Friday in a brutal attack outside the Cermak-Chinatown CTA station.

Chicago Police and WLS declined to report the race of the 17 year old victim, who was "stomped on" by the mob which stole his cell phone and debit card and pummelled him with their fists and feet. The victim was taken to Stroger Hospital where he was reported in serious condition. He is expected to survive.

Chicago news media have adopted an almost universal policy of refusing to identify the race of the mob attackers and victims although WLS radio has in the past deviated from this policy.

Olagbegi

Two of the attackers were not identified by Chicago police spokesmen because they were 16. One of the five identified assailants was from Skokie and the other four were from Rogers Park.

Charged with one count each of felony robbery, mob action and aggravated battery causing great bodily harm were, Fimi Adedokun, of the 6100 block of North Damen Avenue; Stanton Demaret, of the 8100 block of Knox Avenue in Skokie; Devin Mossiah, of the 6600 block of North Ashland Avenue; Denzel Olagbegi, of the 1400 block of West Pratt Boulevard; and Duwon Polk, of the 1700 block of West Pratt Boulevard.

Police said that the attack which was captured on CTA surveillance cameras, showed several of the thugs making a running leap and pouncing on the victim's head.

The seven black suspects are expected to appear in bond court Saturday.

Illegal Aliens Spawning Chicago Hit And Run Epidemic?

Illegal Alien Hit and Run Suspect

According to Jon Hilkevitch's August 15th report in the Chicago Tribune, Chicago isn't a very safe place to walk.

Over the period 2004-2009, 18,377 pedestrians were mowed down by cars here. And the report noted that about 2 hit-and-run crashes resulting in a pedestrian getting maimed or killed occur every day in Chicago

"Among the more troubling findings of the study commissioned by the Chicago Department of Transportation is that an average of two hit-and-run pedestrian crashes resulting in deaths or injuries take place each day in Chicago. Hit-and-runs account for 33 percent of vehicle-pedestrian collisions and 41 percent of those that are fatal, double the national average, officials said.

That's 5,534 hit-and-runs over the five-year stretch, causing 3,683 deaths and injuries, officials said."

That's a disturbing statistic: Chicago has twice the national average rate of hit-and-run incidents where pedestrians are maimed or killed.

Dennis McCann,
Killed by illegal alien driver 

But the ever-politically correct Mr. Hilkevitch and his Chicago Tribune bosses don't bother to ask why.

With half a million illegal aliens in the state and most in "sanctuary city," Chicago, it would be a fair speculation that they are the cause of the wildly above average rate of fatal hit-and-runs here.

The average sentient citizen is eminently cognizant of the victimization of the populace by illegal alien drivers, but of course, the Tribune wouldn't dare systematically look into the phenomenon for fear of what it might find.

But there is no shortage of salient examples.

For example:

--- Chicago Police Officer Michael Gordon lost his life in August 2004 to an illegal alien drunk driver. Officer Gordon was in the driver's seat of his squad car when it was struck by Luis Calle, a Guatemalan, whose blood alcohol level was 0.177, twice the legal limit.

--- Just this past June 10, William "Dennis" McCann, 66, a long-time Chicago insurance agent and graduate of Mendel High School was run down and killed in Logan Square by Saul Chavez, an illegal alien driving without a license and having 4x the legally allowable blood alcohol level.

In fact there is an entire on-line memorial to the American victims of illegal alien criminals -- many of the Americans having been killed by hit-and-run illegal alien drivers.

Everybody knows this is going on. But the Chicago Tribune won't even ask why illegal alien "sanctuary city" Chicago ranks so astronomically high in hit-and-run fatalities for pedestrians.

In its monumental lack of curiosity, the Tribune is engaged in a de facto coverup. In this its editors are nothing less than criminal abettors -- pimps, if you will.

Traditional Bavarian Lederhosen, Dirndl Becoming Hip in Germany

Traditional lederhosen and dirndl
are becoming hip in Germany

Several years back I was at a thrift store on Western Avenue and on the rack amidst the second hand Brooks Brothers and Jos. A. Banks mens' suits, I spied a lone lodenjanker.

That's a traditional country sport jacket indigenous to Bavaria and the other Southern regions of Germany and the odds of that showing up in a Chicago thrift store are something like 1 in a million. I'm sure my ancestors wore them, but I'm sure no one in my line has worn one in well over 100 years.

lodenjanker

It fit me and I was tempted to buy it. But then better sense prevailed. When, after all, would I actually wear the damned thing? Maybe once a year at Maifest Chicago or possibly at an occasional Dank Haus stammtisch.

And I would feel like a damned fool being seen in it on the streets of Chicago going to and from those events.

Well, it seems I might have passed up a great bargain, because now, word comes from Der Spiegel that traditional Bavarian couture is becoming the hottest thing in Germany today -- not just in Bavaria but everywhere.

Helene Fischer and Florian Silbereisen
in dirndl and lederhosen

Sort of like as in Huey Lewis' 1985 song, "It's hip to be square", it's apparently becoming so hip to don lederhosen or a dirndl in many parts of Germany - at least for parties and special events - that manufacturers of the traditional apparel can't keep pace with demand and prices are soaring.

Helene Fischer, Francine Jordi and Andrea Berg among many other schlager songstresses have been photographed wearing dirndl, to very good effect.

I should have bought that lodenjanker when I had the chance.

(Reprinted from the Chicago Schlager Music Review, with permission)

Marxist Styled Indoctrination at Lemont Middle School

Lemont's Old Quarry Middle School

Posted below are the 2010 salaries for the administrators and teachers in the Lemont-Bromberek school district 113A.

The district operates Oakwood and River Valley schools and Old Quarry Middle School.

This district comes to our attention because, if the allegations made on WIND radio Sunday are true, its Old Quarry Middle school has been engaging in a vile form of leftist political indoctrination more reminiscent of a Soviet Lenninist education camp than a suburban Chicago Lemont school.

On Sunday's Champion News show, sponsored by Jack Roeser's Family Taxpayers Foundation, the guests were three kids who had independently formed a Junior Tea Party organization in Lemont.

One of them, an emigre from the former Lithuanian Soviet Socialist Republic, reported that he was sent to the Old Quarry school's principal's office by a female social studies teacher there for the high crime of saying that he was a conservative who did not care for Obama and his ilk.

Apparently, in the view of the leftist ideologue, who is paid quite handsomely to teach at Old Quarry, this constituted a thought crime of such magnitude as to require disciplinary force.

Stories of left-wing indoctrination on college campuses are legion. The Philadelphia-based Foundation for Individual Rights in Education (FIRE)files thousands of lawsuits annually against colleges and universities that engage in this manner of Orwellian thought control.

FIRE's civil rights lawyers almost always win.

But now it appears that the thought police have spread their tenacles down to even the middle school level

Maybe FIRE should take a look at the allegations of blatant civil rights violations at Lemont's Old Quarry Middle School.

Here, from the database of the Family Taxpayers Foundation, is what the taxpayers of Lemont and its environs are shelling out for left-wing teachers to bully and brainwash their kids:

Teacher Salary Database

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Lemont-Bromberek CSD 113A 2010 - Download data
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NAME SALARY
Anderson, Cathleen $66,782
Anderson, Michelle $67,785
Antonoff, Susan $67,428
Balaty, Christine $60,229
Baptist, Judith $57,457
Beckwith, Robert $112,739

Skokie's Favorite Hitler Fan: Mohandas K. Gandhi

Skokie's Statue To Hitler Fan
M.K. Gandhi

On October 2, 2004, with much fanfare and an obvious eye toward the burgeoning Indian vote in his village, Skokie Mayor George Van Dusen unveiled Illinois' first statue of Mohandas Gandhi.
The 8 ft. tall bronze statue stands in Skokie's sculpture park/bike path near Dempster and McCormick a mere 2 miles down the road from the Illinois Holocaust Museum.

The marble base upon which the statue sets contains an accolade to the Indian ascetic, which reads, "Apostle of Non-violence, Love, Truth and Justice." It also contains four quotations from the Indian nationalist leader -- all lofty appeals to truth, justice, righteousness, yada, yada, yada.

Oddly it omitted this utterance that the Mahatma issued in the Indian Newspaper, Harijan on April 22nd, 1940 -- the day that France formally surrendered to the armies of Adolf Hitler:

"Germans of future generations will honour Herr Hitler as a genius, as a brave man, a matchless organizer and much more."

Let me repeat. That glowing endorsement of Adolf Hitler, the murderer of 6 million Jews and 4 million others was written by Mahatma Gandhi.

I stumbled onto that little gem on page 190 of award-winning historian, John Lukacs' 1990 work, The Duel: 10 May-31 July 1940 - The Eighty Day Struggle Between Churchill and Hitler.

As I recall, members of Skokie Mayor Van Dusen's Democrat party howled when it was revealed that California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's father had been a member of Hitler's National Socialist Party.

Gandhi Fan
Van Dusen

And they actually sought to shoot down the nomination of a Reagan appointee to a Treasury Department post when it was revealed that as a 10 year old boy he had been enlisted in the Hitler Youth -- the equivalent of the Boy Scouts. In fact, Van Dusen was a top aide then to one of the very liberal Congressmen, Sidney Yates, who was making those noises.

But neither of those ever even came near the outright endorsement of Adolf Hitler that was penned by the supposed Indian holy man.

Odd, the selectivity of the outrage of these doctrinaire left-wing pols, isn't it?

English Global-Warming Student Mauled, Eaten By Bear

British Global-Warming Student Horatio Chapple:
Eaten By Polar Bear

Sooner or later we're all going to have to contemplate our inevitable date with the grim reaper.

Given the few short decades given us to walk this vale of tears, one can hope that when the time comes, it will be peaceful -- perhaps painless -- maybe even meaningful --- but certainly not ridiculous.

That has unfortunately become the sad plight of an ever-increasing number of ideologues of the left, so drunk on their own snake oil as to become a cause for horse laughs on the occasion of their passing.

My all-time favorite in this category was the immortal health food crackpot, Jerome Rodale. He was felled by a gripper (see Chicago Lampoon 4/22/10) before Dick Cavett's live studio audience, minutes after boasting that he would live to be 100 due to his interesting diet of wild nuts and tree bark.

And then there was the animal-loving Ms. Frances Frost, a self-described "environmental dancer" of Canmore, Canada.
After her pet dog was killed by a wild cougar on her property, she refused to allow hunters permission to seek out the blood-thirsty beast and shoot it.

Weeks later, Ms. Frost danced her last eco-friendly tango, as the self-same kitty cat stalked, mauled and killed her.

But now comes sad news from Northern Europe of the nature-loving student who was eaten by a bear while on a school field trip to study "man-made global warming."

It seems that, caught up in a frenzy of excitement over the global warming flapdoodle, a group of 5 British students went off to the isolated Norwegian isle of Spitsbergen to conduct their own studies (replete, no doubt, with falsified data and faked e-mails.)

While communing with nature there, these nature-worshipping Brits ran into a bear. He did not take kindly to nature lovers invading his natural habitat, so naturally, he attacked them.

Hungry  Norwegian

Four of the young scholars narrowly escaped with their lives, but one, Horatio Chapple, 17, was killed. When his remains were recovered, it seems that the bear had decided that young Master Chapple would make the perfect filling lunch for a cold Nordic day.

So now, young Chapple has entered the never-ending cycle of nature by way of the bear's digestive system. On the bright side, however, at least his carbon footprint  has been reduced to a very sustainable, zero.

I'd be willing to bet a steak dinner at Chicago's famed Gibson's Steakhouse that these five British lads were devoted, holier-than-thou vegetarians.

Too bad the bear wasn't.

WGN's Dean Richards Blasts Tribune's Anti-Palin Bias

WGN's Dean Richards

If there were any lingering doubt as to the depths to which the Chicago Tribune has sunk in its bias against ideas and personalities conservative, it was put to rest this morning by the Tribune Corporation's own Dean Richards.

On his Sunday morning WGN radio arts show, Richards excoriated the Tribune editorial scribes for bastardizing his Sunday Tribune Arts column with an overtly misleading and what he termed "mean spirited" anti-Palin headline.

Richards conducted an interview with four time Oscar nominee, Julianne Moore. In the print interview, he questioned her on her role in the new comedy, "Crazy Stupid Love."

Julianne Moore

Four paragraphs later in the article, he questioned Moore regarding her portrayal of former vice-Presidential candidate, Sara Palin in the TV movie, "Game Change."

With this body of copy a Tribune headline writer came up with the headline for Dean's column, "Moore talks 'Crazy, Stupid, Love' and playing Sarah Palin."

On his radio broadcast, Richard's was uncharacteristically furious. "The headline completely misrepresented my article -- it was mean spirited and not the right thing to do," Richards said.

"You can see why people would say the Tribune is biased when they do things like that and some people will look only at the headline and think that Dean Richards is a biased cheap shot artist, " he said.

Richards said that he fired off an e-mail to Tribune editorial personnel asking for an explanation and asking for the name of the headline writer.

Sara Palin

He had not yet received an answer at the time of his Sunday morning broadcast.

"I am no fan of Sara Palin and people who know me know that, Dean Richards said. "But this was just not the right thing to do."

I'm eagerly waiting for the next liberal Tribune apologist to predictably summon up the ghost of Colonel McCormick and tell us that the Tribune editorially endorses lots of Republicans so it really is Chicago's right-wing paper.

Fact is the Chicago Tribune has become a dissembling left-wing rag. And now, even some of its few remaining intellectually honest employees are admitting as much.

"Progress Illinois" Blasts Durbin For Walmart Ties

Chicago's Lefties Still Hate Walmart

Progress Illinois, the voice of zany leftism in the state, reacted to yesterday's opening of the first Walmart in Chicago by reaffirming their call to boycott Walmart and blasting lefty U.S. Sen. Dick Durbin for his ties to the firm.

After long opposition from organized big-labor in Chicago, Walmart finally gained City Council approval to open here and it did so yesterday in the impoverished black Chatham neighborhood.

At a smaller than usual 10k sq. ft. "Walmart Express"  it will provide there, among many other things, discount groceries and fresh produce in an area long lamented by Chicago's libs as a "grocery desert."

And at the new store, Walmart gave jobs to 50 people selected from a pool of neighborhood applicants in high-unemployment Chatham.

Apparently that's not good enough for the loony lefties at Progress Illinois. On their website yesterday they restated their call for a consumer boycott of Walmart and even blasted their champion, Senator Dick Durbin for his ties to the evil corporate giant:

Likes Walmart's Campaign Cash

"Walmart has announced it is donating $20 million to charities and opening several dozen new stores in Chicago area; this is no surprise since records show repeated contact and donations from Walmart PAC to Sen Dick Durbin; Two of Durbins  (sic) former aides, are now lobbyists for the top Democratic powerhouse firm Podesta Group, which lobby's (sic) for Walmart."

Walmart just can't win with Chicago's lefties. If it gave away all of the contents of it's Chatham Walmart Express for free, Progress Illinois would blast them for "cultural insensitivity" for insulting Chatham's residents with handouts.

I wonder, will Dick Durbin move to make amends and mollify his pals over at Progress Illinois by returning all his campaign cash from Walmart?

Don't hold your breath waiting for that one.

Cook County Board May Free Illegal Aliens From County Jail Tomorrow

Tomorrow morning the Cook County Board will consider Commissioner Jesus Garcia's (D-Chi) bill to require the county jail to release illegal aliens being held for Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) unless they have been convicted of a felony or two misdemeanors.

Currently Cook County jail remands 6 illegal aliens a day over to ICE.

This is the latest in the effort of Chicago multiculturalists and open borders enthusiasts to nullify American immigration laws locally.

Latino-centric pol, Garcia

This comes on top of Cook County Sheriff, Tom Dart's July 11th announcement that he was unilaterally looking into legal ways that his office could cease co-operation with ICE.

According to WBEZ radio, if Dart suspends enforcement of immigration laws or if Garcia's bill should pass, it would make Cook County the largest local government entity in the nation to be in non-compliance with US law.

And Garcia's new bill also comes on top of Cook County State's Attorney, Anita Alverez' March 25th decision to evict ICE from the Cook County Court Building, where it had been assessing the immigration status of arrestees and putting a "hold order" on those found to be illegally here.

Sheriff Tom Dart: Cultural Marxist?

The elected Chicago pols who are opposed to enforcement of US immigration laws are undermining them in a manner that can only be described as "death by 1,000 cuts."

Tomorrow morning, the Cook County Board of Commissioners, should it pass Jesus Garcia's de facto local amnesty, could deliver the local coup de grace to our duly constituted immigration laws.

Oh, by the way. The last person to be put on hold for deportation before Alvarez kicked ICE out of the courthouse was one Marek Tomaszewska.

He was arrested for attempted murder for beating his ex-girlfriend into an inch of her life. He pushed her to the ground and repeatedly kicked her in the face. He had a previous battery conviction in this country. He is eligible for deportation and is being held at the Cook County jail.

He could be the last deportee from Chicago.

NEWS UPDATE 11/27/11 -- At 11th hour during the Wednesday morning Cook County Board meeting, Mr. Garcia announced that he was withdrawing the bill from consideration in order to "rethink it." Apparently this San Francisco-styled amnesty plan was a trifle too zany for even the Cook County Board of Commissioners.

Reagan's Cold War Victory Complete: American Culture Prevails At Eurovision 2011

Reagan Led US to Victory
Over the Soviet Union

This December 26th, it will be a full 20 years since Ronald Reagan led the US to complete victory over the Soviet "Evil Empire." 

To look at the recent 2011 Eurovision Song Competition, our victory is every bit as thorough as that of Rome over Carthage.

The winning entry in that iconic pan-European competition was a duo from the former Soviet state of Azerbaijan who sang a completely American-styled pop song in almost perfect Midwestern American English.

The Euro song winners were a couple calling themselves ELL/Nikki. They prevailed with a song called, "Running Scared," (not Roy Orbison's classic American rock version.)

Their vocal offering would seamlessly fit into the playlist of any contemporary pop radio station, anywhere in America.

ELL/Nikki: 2011 Eurovision Victors
From Former Soviet Azerbaijan


Following is a video of the performance which won the May 14th competition among 25 European nations in Dusseldorf, Germany for best European song.

It's sung in English -- American English.

Foreigners may heap criticism on the US -- but it is obviously a cloak for their deep seated envy of America.

The current dumbo-eared occupant of the White House may run around the world apologizing for America's greatness and power, and of course, he just doesn't get it.

They all really still want to be like us. Here's the winner for Best European Song of 2011: