Chicago Gay Pride Parade 2011: Jan Schakowsky sans Her Rainbow Hot Pants

The Gay Pride crowd was very colorful

Yesterday I saw my first ever Chicago gay pride parade. I hadn't planned on going, but while cycling I just kind of stumbled into it. With Halsted and Broadway cordoned off and throngs of very colorful people streaming toward the street barricades, you really couldn't miss it.

And when I say colorful people, I'm not kidding.

Here's what I saw:

--- An apparent pizza enthusiast with his pizza order printed on his T-shirt. It said: "I'd like a large sausage."

--- A decidely un-military looking fat guy wearing Scottish camouflage kilts. Probably were army surplus from the Queen's Own Royal Scots Grenadiers, his apparent favourite military organization.

Camouflage kilts

--- Two avid lesbian members of the Wildlife Preservation movement showing their commitment to the cause with matching, "Beaver Patrol" T-shirts.

--- A rather large breasted girl with 2 body-painted arrows on her upper torso, one pointed at each of her melons along with the admonition: "Squeeze Me."

--- A 60-something gay male couple wearing only matching skin-tight  jockey shorts -- black with  rainbow waistbands -- apparently intended to share the contours of their sexagenarian buttocks' with the rest of us (EEEEEUUUUWWWW!!!)

--- An octagenarian Dawn Clark Netsch riding in an open car (EEEEEUUUUWWWW!!!)

I saw all this while planted at the corner of Cornelia & Broadway, near where someone had set up a University of Iowa alumni tent. One of the Hawkeyes there was a tall guy with chiseled movie-star good looks. He sported a black dago-T highlighted by a long strand of white pearls --  understated elegance, don't ya think?

Other things I noted:

--- The Chicago cops apparently give the gays a pass on open liquor consumption during the Pride parade. Everybody was drinking. Rahm's minions could have balanced the city budget in one swoop had they been issuing $50 tickets for this municipal infraction.

--- From Rahm and Pat Quinn down to water reclamation commissioners, a lot of Chicago pols rode in the event. There was not a single Republican -- after all there is not a single Republican elected official anywhere in Chicago.

--- Lefty Congresswoman, Jan Schakowsky's butt must be expanding uncontrollably or maybe the allegations of a lesbian tryst with a Turkish woman made her want to tone it down, but she didn't wear her customary gay rainbow hotpants this year, instead settling for a bulky blue and white dress. Her felon husband, Bob Creamer held down the rear of her large parade entourage by driving her sound truck.

Socialist Dem. Jan Schakowsky
never misses the Gay Pride parade

--- Liberal lakeshore State Rep. Sara Feigenholtz (D-Chgo) played a campy cross-dresser, throwing out mardi gras beads from her open car in a multi-colored wedding gown, complete with veil

--- Liberal Dem States Attorney, Anita Alvarez came costumed as a policewoman dominatrix. But she seemed uncomfortable in the role, kind of shyly cowering near the back of her float. Her numerous assistant States Attorneys on the float seemed to more than compensate for her lack of enthusiasm.

--- Liberal Rogers Park Alderman, Joe Moore, was a no-show, but his campaign sound truck treated the throng to a rousing rendition of ABBA's "Dancing Queen."

--- For all the hoopla over the artistry of the gay community, I didn't see a single live musical act or marching band (one group marched around banging on drums) only canned music from machines.

--- There was a large contingent of gay unionized Chicago Public school teachers marching there and a very large contingent of Chicago public librarians.

The funniest line I heard while standing on the sidelines was when the Chicago Cubs trolley car rolled by and a guy near me said to his boyfriend, "Oh look --- gay Cubs fans." The boyfriend retorted: "No, the Cubs are gay."

With the Cubs playing .403 ball, 12 games behind in the NL Central, who can argue with that?

Newport Cigarettes: Saturday Smoking Lounge

With news this week that the health nannies are now going to force macabre photo warnings onto cigarette wrappers, it's nice to take a trip back to the good old days when a man could quietly enjoy a smoke in his own living room -- and even enjoy some attractive company, as in this innovative Newport ad from the Go-Go, mod, mid-sixties:

Chicago Tribune Mag's Fetish For Interracial Coupling

Odd Couple Seal and Klug

The Chicago Tribune's Sunday magazine seems to have developed an odd fetish for portraying interracial couples.

More precisely, for black and white interracial couples with 4 out of 5 being a black man and a white woman.

Like the old 70s era Chicago Daily News and other newspapers who gallantly tried to stave off the death rattle, the Tribune has been frantically experimenting of late. First a smaller news sheet, then a new layout, then new little features.

But this interracial coupling emphasis is a new one on me.

The front cover of the June 12th pre-father's day issue of the Tribune magazine featured a rather creepy looking black man, besmeared with a cucumber facial, reposing in a bathrobe and being daintily proffered a cold drink by a servile feminine white hand. It illustrated a piece on how wives should pamper their mates on father's day.

Next week, the June 19th Tribune mag sported a cover story on high school reunions with a posed shot of an aging black man and a white woman in age-discordant high school attire.

The same edition featured 3 more staff concocted depictions of couples -- all were interracial.

The most notorious interracial odd couple of recent memory -- German model Heidi Klum and Carribean rapper, "Seal" were pictured on page 23. That photo was preposterously intended to illustrate the idea that facial look-alikes attract.

Aside from its surface improbability, that notion seems all the more ludicrous in light of the fact that the Teutonic blond bimbo told tabloid reporters that she first noticed the hulking Afro-Carribean when she espied his male package bulging from within his spandex running shorts.

Seems facial compatibility was hardly the curious cover girl's paramount priority.

Anyway with less than 2% of Americans involved in black/white unions and only 7% considered interracial, this new Tribune editorial obsession seems a trifle odd.

Good Buddies Laurent and Berge

Perhaps its a calculated ploy to entice away the Sun-Times' heavy minority readership, such as it is. Or perhaps a private fancy of kinky Tribune magazine staffers and photographers.

In fairness, though, the Tribune did see fit to feature a photo of one all-white couple in the past two issues.

On page 19 of the pre-father's day issue, there was a touching portrait of fashion designer, Yves Saint Laurent alongside his bosom buddy of many years, "businessman" Pierre Berge.

The Tribune magazine really got into the spirit of things with that one.

After all, what says "Father's Day" better than an intimate photo of two gay French women's dress designers?

Happy Birthday "Sweet Swingin'" Billy Williams

Billy Williams

Billy Williams, the sweet swinging hall of fame left fielder for the Chicago Cubs turned 73 today.

Happy birthday, Billy!

WGN read off a list of notable Chicagoans with birthdays today and omitted him, while mentioning the lackluster Dusty Baker who had only a brief stint as manager here.

So typical. Billy Williams was the one Chicago superstar who, like a baseball Rodney Dangerfield, never seemed to get any respect.

He was overshadowed most of his career by the home run hitting Ernie Banks and the more flamboyant Ron Santo. And of course, being a Cub, he never enjoyed the national spotlight of a World Series.

Williams' Statue
Outside Wrigley Field

But all the while he quietly and uncomplainingly amassed a record of accomplishment that is among the greatest in baseball history.

The "Iron Man" of his era, he amassed a long-standing NL record (since surpassed by Steve Garvey) of 1,117 consecutive games.

Rookie of the year in '61, over his fifteen year career he hit 426 round trippers and drove in 1,475 runs with a lifetime .290 batting average.

And always having a better than average glove, he memorably saved no-hitters for Cubs pitchers Kenny Holtzman and Milt Pappas with spectacular diving outfield catches.

He was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1987.

I'm glad the Cubs finally got around to retiring his number #26 and erecting a statue to him outside Wrigley Field.

All of us little leaguers from the boomer generation have nothing but great respect for his abilities and fond memories of the great moments he gave us in Cubs' lore.

And now, he's finally gotten the respect he deserves.

Happy Birthday, Billy Williams!

After Gold Coast Mob Attacks MLB, ISRA Say Beware of Chicago

The public's ability to believe the mainstream Chicago news media and city government over the actual extent of the black youth mob violence on the North side has been shredded over the past week.

First frumpy-haired liberal Chicago Tribune columnist, Mary Schmich argued in a June 8th column that the paper had no obligation to tell us that the perpetrators were all blacks. She quoted a Tribune editor as saying that since he didn't think the crimes were racially motivated, the race of the perps was not newsworthy.

Then black, former CHA dweller Dawn Turner Trice seconded that in her Tribune column telling us that disclosing the racial identities of the thugs would make her son and his little black buddies feel bad when walking downtown en masse.

Then several Chicago Cops went on WLS radio saying that the city itself was covering up the extent of the black on white violence for fear of hurting downtown business.

Frumpy liberal Schmich

So who can you believe?

Several independent groups have no interest in PC spin and they are telling their members to be very careful in Chicago --- or just plain stay away.

Major League Baseball orally advised teams travelling to Chicago to beware of the breakdown in public order near their hotels.

The Illinois State Rifle Association issued a "Travel Advisory" warning its members to avoid Chicago.

Loyola University warned its students to be very careful after attacks at the Red Line el stop near their Water Tower campus.

The PAWS animal rescue group cancelled a lakefront event, fearing for the safety of participants.

And the Chicago Lampoon has issued a travel advisory to itself to avoid the Lakeshore bike path between Hollywood and the Loop this year.

After logging at least 500 miles on it last summer, this year I'm going to avoid it and use the North suburban Evanston to Lake Forest, Green Bay Trail bike path.

I hope I won't be  making Dawn Turner Trice's son and his band of little black buddies feel bad.

Steve McQueen For Viceroys: Saturday Smoking Lounge

Ultra-cool Steve McQueen

When the anti-smoking nazis began to impose their iron will on the populace with a greater vigor in the late 80s, Viceroy repositioned itself in the market as a discount brand. It was still as good as it ever was, just priced less.

So to save a few cents now and then, I would buy them. They weren't bad at all and just $1 a pack in Washington, D.C. in 1990. In fact they apparently were so good that while walking my dog in DC, some black street dudes offered to trade me a joint for a few of my Viceroys.

And how bad could they have been if the very cool Steve McQueen endorsed them as in this TV ad from the 60s?:



Chicago Schlager Saturday has moved to the Chicago Schlager Music Review.

Skokie/Morton Grove District 69 Teachers' Salaries

Printed below in alphabetical order are the 2010 salaries of all teachers and administrators for Skokie/Morton Grove school district 69. The district operates Lincoln Junior High, Madison and Thomas Edison elementary schools.

The district administration is currently crying poverty and hinting that they want Skokie and Morton Grove homeowners and property owners in their area to cough up more in taxes.

Lincoln JHS

Apparently no one sent them the memo that we are in a major economic recession and Obama, himself, called for "shared sacrifice." Wouldn't that imply across-the-board teachers and administrators pay cuts?

Some highlights of the salary list:

--- a $105k reading teacher
--- a $93k school psychologist
--- five school social workers with the top one hauling down $77k
--- a $98k home-economics (now called consumer economics) teacher
--- an army of 6 administrators pulling down 6-figure salaries up to $148k
--- a 98k librarian

Below are the salaries which were obtained from the Illinois State Board of Education via a Freedom of Information act lawsuit filed by the Family Taxpayers Foundation. For more detailed information go here to the FTF website and click "download data" for Skokie SD 69.

Teacher Salary Database

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Skokie SD 69 2010 - --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NAME SALARY
Abramite, Angela $55,417
Anderson, Amy $48,855
Anderson, Megan $64,302
Anfuso, Kris $54,751
Armstrong, Catherine $69,995
Beane, Stefanie $70,670
Benson, Sarah $49,290
Block, Therese $97,537
Bradley, Lori $105,412

Cubs Should Draft "Beanball Derodte" Wright

"Beanball Derodte" Wright

All Chicago is worried and depressed over the  5th place .400 Cubs' 8 game losing skid and the recent spate of black youth mob violence on the lakefront and near North side.

But not me.

I have found the silver lining to all of this.

I have discovered the recipe for squeezing lemonade from these lemons. I have unearthed the solution to both these problems and it is to be found in the golden arm of accused assailant, high school baseballer, Derodte Wright.

While all of you were crying in your beer over the Cubs and wailing and gnashing your teeth over the breakdown of public order, I was busy reading the fine print in the news reports of Chicago's racial gang violence.

And here's what I saw in the Chicago Sun Times:

◆Derodte Wright, 18, of the 3500 block of South State Street, a student at Perspectives Charter School, accused of attacking nursing student Ryan Dacumos and robbing him on the Lake Michigan bikepath near Chicago Ave. around 8.30 p.m. Described in court by his attorney as a good student with prospects of a college baseball scholarship, Wright was ordered held on bail of $200,000 by Cook County Judge Maria Kuriakos Ciesil.

And the Tribune reported:

Victim Krzysztof Wilkowski said he was hit so hard by a baseball, it knocked his motor-scooter helmet off.

Do I have to spell it out for you? This is the answer to the Cubs' prayers -- right here in our own back yard.

The Cubs pitching staff is a woeful 30th in all of baseball in ERA, 30th in quality starts and 29th in opponents batting average against. In a word, it is pitiful.

"Beanball Ben" Christensen

But with a young phenom like "Beanball Derodte" Wright in the rotation, all this could change in very short order.

Opposing hitters wouldn't dare crowd the plate. Derodte would own the outside corner and with his apparent fireball, we are looking at the stuff of 20+ game winning seasons, rookie-of-the-year and perennial Cy Young awards.

With their misplaced emphasis on ethics over ability, the Cubs frittered away their promising 1999 1st round pick, "Beanball Ben" Christensen.

Beanball Ben had a similar propensity for throwing at the heads of people who weren't even in the batter's box. To assuage popular indignation over this, the Cubs cast Christensen loose and look where that got them.

Let's not make the same mistake again. I say, let's sign young Derodte right away.

But first, could the Ricketts family please help him make bail?as hit s

Salute To Katy Perry?: Chicago Ukranian Festival Set For Aug. 20-21

Katy Perry

It hasn't been officially nailed down yet, but we hear from reliable sources that the Ukranian Fab 4 will be performing their wildly popular cover of Katy Perry's "Hot N Cold" at the upcoming Chicago Ukranian Heritage Festival.

We've frankly never experienced any performance quite like it:



So be sure to mark your calendars.

The 28th Annual Ukrainian Heritage Festival will feature Ukrainian arts & crafts, music & dance, food & entertainment and a celebration of Ukrainian Independence will take place on Sunday, August 21st at 1:30 pm.

Aug 20, 2011 - Aug 21, 2011

Hours: 12 Noon - 10 pm

Location: Smith Park, 2526 W. Grand Ave, Chicago

Admission: $5 Donation

For additional information please visit www.uccaillinois.org

Chicago PC Media Mum On Race of Black Streeterville Mob

Dvonte Sykes, Trovolus Pickett and Derodte Wright 

The violent Saturday night attacks on 3 white men and one Japanese tourist in the posh Streeterville neighborhood were perpetrated by  a gang of  15 to 20 black youths from the South side, according to Chicago's WLS-AM.

Dvonte Sykes, Trovolus Pickett and Derodte Wright were charged as adults today with felony robbery and mob action and police are still looking for about a dozen others.

The thuggish African-American mob violently attacked the four victims and stole ipods, cellphones and other electronic devices.

Callers to WLS-AM this morning, who identified themselves as retired or current Chicago Police said the city was covering up a wave of black on white mob violence in the city.

Skokie School District 68: Top Paid Principals, Big Teachers' Salaries

Old Orchard JHS

Printed below in alphabetical order are the salaries for the teachers and administrators at Skokie School District 68.
The recent Sun-Times breakdown on government school teachers' and administrators' pay showed that Skokie's SD 68 was among the top ten systems in the state in doling out cash to principals.

The district, which runs Old Orchard Jr. High, Jane Stetson, Devonshire and Highland elementary schools was shelling out an average of $140,621 a year to them -- $40,000 above the state average.

But it turns out that a lot of the other staff and unionized teachers at these Skokie schools are feeding pretty well at the taxpayer gravy train too.

Among the highlights:

--- 4 Gym teachers making just shy of $100k. Not bad pay for moderating kickball games.

--- A $97k Home economics teacher. Who did they get, Martha Stewart?

--- 5 music teachers, the top ones hauling in $99k and $95k. Are Pavarotti and Riccardo Muti moonlighting on the North side of Skokie?

And the next time one of the lobbyists from the ICIRR illegal immigrant advocacy group tells you that immigration doesn't cost taxpayers, consider that this little suburban SD 68 alone teaches 250 non-English speakers at a cost of $13,137 each or a total of $3.3 million a year.

Here are all the salaries reported to the ISBE for 2010. In most cases they are for 9 months of work. You can get a more detailed spreadsheet with years of service, education background, teaching specialty etc. by going to the Family Taxpayers Foundation website. They are the group that initially filed the Freedom of Information lawsuit to secure this data for the taxpaying public.

Teacher Salary Database

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Skokie SD 68 2010 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NAME SALARY
Aguirre, Merilee $51,194
Alvear, Nicole $50,661
Ardell, Lila $106,765

Dick Van Dyke and Mary Tyler Moore Endorse Kent Cigarettes: Saturday Smoking Lounge

Sun-Times Teachers' Salaries Report: Put on a Happy Face

This past Tuesday the Chicago Sun-Times devoted two of its paltry 54 pages to its annual "expose" of bloated teachers' salaries.

The front page headline tittilated with mention of $100,000 salaries. And the lead teased with the fact that 55% of the Highland Park/Deerfield High School teachers pull down 6 figure salaries.

But the actual article was little more than a shameless apologia for the unionized teachers pillage of the public treasury.

Of Ros Rossi and Art Golab's 39 paragraph story, 12 paragraphs could be considered straightforward reportage -- salary facts and figures, relative district salary ratings etc.

2 paragraphs contained opinions (from a single source) critical of the bloated teachers salaries.

And 25 paragraphs were devoted to quoting sources from the education cartel telling us that the big teachers salaries were really a very, very good thing.

The Sun-Times apprised us of the astounding fact that the largely minority, Dolton Distict 149 had the 8th highest teachers' salaries in the state despite only 64% of its students meeting base state academic standards.

It then devoted the next 13 paragraphs to blatantly self-justifying quotes from the Dolton school superintendent and the head of the Dolton Teachers Union.

Walking For Grief in Depressing Rogers Park

While walking along the McCormick Ave path I spied a lawn sign inviting all to "Walk for Grief" this coming Saturday in Rogers Park.

We've all seen those women each spring in their pink T-shirts walking for breast cancer and Evanston has its annual "Walk Against Hate" where all the liberal hatemongers drain the venom from their spleens, but this "Walk for Grief" is a new one on me.

Who sits around and dreams these things up?

The "Walk for Grief" website urges us to:

"Walk with us to honor grief and mourning,
Walk with us for comfort and courage,
Walk with us to raise money for grief therapy."

Now I don't know about you, but if I was seriously depressed, on a bright shiny Saturday spring morning, about the last thing I'd need would be to hook up with a bunch of morose mopes and walk with them along one of the most depressing parts of the Chicago lakefront.

That is not "just what the doctor ordered", unless you happen to be under the treatment of Dr. Kevorkian.

When confronted by grief from something like a breakup with your girlfriend or -- even worse -- the loss of a beloved dog -- I recommend the Irish wake therapy.

Unlike the Italians who would weep and wail at funerals, the fun-loving Irish would throw a big bash in honor of the deceased. Replete with much liquid refreshment, it would serve to take the edge off the loss.

At one particularly memorable such event in the 1800s, the casket of the faithfully departed was propped up by 3 chairs in the middle of the living room. As the party increased in number, booze level falling, hilarity level rising, there arose need for more seating for the guests.

So several of the Irish revellers took the casket and propped it up in the corner so that they could use the chairs. When the priest came in and saw the partying mourners and casket propped up in the corner, he bellowed with his brogue: "This is a sacrilege -- right now -- let's have three chayers for the deceased."

To which the mourners responded:

Hip, Hip, HOORAY!!!
Hip, Hip, HOORAY!!!
Hip, Hip, HOORAY!!!

Be sure to let me know how that 9 am Saturday Grief Walk at Loyola Park works out for you. Oh yeah, it only costs $55 per family or $20 per person. That ought to cheer you up.