Walking For Grief in Depressing Rogers Park

While walking along the McCormick Ave path I spied a lawn sign inviting all to "Walk for Grief" this coming Saturday in Rogers Park.

We've all seen those women each spring in their pink T-shirts walking for breast cancer and Evanston has its annual "Walk Against Hate" where all the liberal hatemongers drain the venom from their spleens, but this "Walk for Grief" is a new one on me.

Who sits around and dreams these things up?

The "Walk for Grief" website urges us to:

"Walk with us to honor grief and mourning,
Walk with us for comfort and courage,
Walk with us to raise money for grief therapy."

Now I don't know about you, but if I was seriously depressed, on a bright shiny Saturday spring morning, about the last thing I'd need would be to hook up with a bunch of morose mopes and walk with them along one of the most depressing parts of the Chicago lakefront.

That is not "just what the doctor ordered", unless you happen to be under the treatment of Dr. Kevorkian.

When confronted by grief from something like a breakup with your girlfriend or -- even worse -- the loss of a beloved dog -- I recommend the Irish wake therapy.

Unlike the Italians who would weep and wail at funerals, the fun-loving Irish would throw a big bash in honor of the deceased. Replete with much liquid refreshment, it would serve to take the edge off the loss.

At one particularly memorable such event in the 1800s, the casket of the faithfully departed was propped up by 3 chairs in the middle of the living room. As the party increased in number, booze level falling, hilarity level rising, there arose need for more seating for the guests.

So several of the Irish revellers took the casket and propped it up in the corner so that they could use the chairs. When the priest came in and saw the partying mourners and casket propped up in the corner, he bellowed with his brogue: "This is a sacrilege -- right now -- let's have three chayers for the deceased."

To which the mourners responded:

Hip, Hip, HOORAY!!!
Hip, Hip, HOORAY!!!
Hip, Hip, HOORAY!!!

Be sure to let me know how that 9 am Saturday Grief Walk at Loyola Park works out for you. Oh yeah, it only costs $55 per family or $20 per person. That ought to cheer you up.

50th Ward Aldermanic Race: Don't Vote - It Only Encourages Them

The fur is flying and it's raining mud in the 50th Ward Chicago aldermanic runoff between 38 year incumbent Berny Stone and challenger, Mrs. Ira Silverstein.

And frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

Ever since casting my first Illinois vote for Ronald Reagan in the 1976 Presidential primary (he lost to Gerald Ford who was backed by the IL Republican combine)I have found myself constantly reduced to trying to divine which candidate might possibly be the lessor of two evils.

Liberal Judy Baar Topinka v. liberal Rod Blagojevich -- Liberal Mark Kirk v. liberal Alexi Giannoulias. How many times can voting be reduced to coin flippery before one succumbs to abject cynicism?

Now, situated in Chicago's West Rogers Park 50th Ward, I finally have.

I'm not going to vote this Tuesday..



The choices are between Berny Stone and Debra Silverstein. A liberal curmudgeon or a liberal mousewife.

Stone accuses Silverstein of nepotism. She takes a salary from her Democrat Committeeman husband's ward organization.

Silverstein accuses Stone of nepotism. His charming daughter, Ilana, takes a salary from his aldermanic office.

Stone accuses Silverstein of dirty campaign money. She took $10k from Mayor Rahm Emanuel's secretly funded PAC and won't return the cash.

Silverstein accuses Stone of dirty campaign money. He paid $13k under the table to a front group which campaigned for him.

Stone accuses Silverstein of incompetent neglect. She and her husband are running the Democrat organization into the ground and her husband doesn't answer constituent mail.

Silverstein accuses Stone of incompetent neglect. He refers citizen compaints to 311 and doesn't patch potholes.

They are both very, very liberal Democrats who pander to immigrant lobby groups (they each have their own Muslim campaign mascot) and cowtow to Big-Labor.

Siverstein has the backing of ultra-lefty Cong. Jan Schakowsky's machine and the public sector SEIU and AFSCME unions. Stone has the backing of the politically connected building trades unions and two-thirds of his fellow Chicago aldermen.

They are both spending scads of money on mailings, robocalls and e-mail blasts trying to convince me that they would be, at the very least, the lessor evil.

And I'm am staying home Tuesday.

I hear that they each will be spending about $200 for every vote they end up actually getting.

Now if one of them would just send me the cash outright, I might be induced to change my mind.

That would be, after all, the Chicago way.

(Might as well just sit back and enjoy some vintage WHO -- "Meet the New Boss, Same as the Old Boss."

South Side Has Chicago's Wackiest Named Aldermanic Candidates

All the nominating petitions for the February 22nd Chicago municipal elections are in. Once again, the South side Wards have heaved up the strangest sounding cast of characters. Any one of them would fit quite well into that bizarre legislative body known as the Chicago City Council.

Here are my nominees for wackiest Chicago Aldermanic candidates (The names are written exactly as they will appear on the ballot):

#1 For Alderman 5th Ward

Sylvester "Junebug" Hendricks ---(Homeless) 5th Ward 45th Pct. Chicago, IL 60619

(This is obviously the kind of people's representative the Founding Fathers envisioned when crafting the Republic)

#2 For Alderman 4th Ward

Valencia "Mother Diva" Dantzler --- 5219 S. Greenwood Chicago, IL 60615

(I would guess she is a seer and Tarot card reader by occupation)


#3 For Alderman 13th Ward

"Zsa" Zdzislawa Popielarczyk --- 6201 S. Kedvale Chicago, IL 60629

(My formal name is Zdzislawa Popielarczyk, but you can just call me Zsa Popielarczyk -- Harry Caray would have had a field day with this name)

#4 For Alderman 21st Ward

Catherine D' Tycoon --- 8320 South Kerfoot Ave Chicago, IL 60620

(She is obviously a scion of the famous Tycoon family)

The election is Tuesday February 22nd. Be sure to vote early and often.