Nanny Alderman Chased By Knife-Wielding Bag Lady

Rookie Alderman James Cappleman (D-46th) seems to have a serious problem getting chased around by the bag ladies in his Uptown ward.


Fastidious Alderman James Cappleman (right)
at Gay Pride parade


In the latest incident, the ever-tidy, openly gay Solon was in the act of calling the cops on one Shermain Miles aka Charmane Boone, who was allegedly enjoying a chilled adult beverage while sitting on a public way.

Taking umbrage at this interruption of her libation enjoyment, Ms. Miles then proceeded to chase the fastidious lawmaker down the street while wielding a knife.

Being in fear for his very life, Alderman Cappleman is pressing charges for assault and battery against his fleet-footed constituent as she apparently caught up to him and pushed him into some bushes.

Fleet-footed Adult Beverage Connoisseur
Shermain Miles

Cappleman sagaciously philosophized on the incident, saying, “What went through my mind was, ‘I don’t want to get stabbed and killed over some stupid thing like this, over someone drinking in the public way. That’s not the way I want to die.’ ”

This comes on the heels of a July incident where he pressed battery charges against another 59-year-old Uptown woman for allegedly pushing him in a confrontation over feeding pigeons.

Cappleman said he saw bread crumbs on the ground near Broadway and Wilson and began to sweep them up when the woman, known to area residents as the “Pigeon Lady,” shoved him hard enough to push him into the street, and then threw a handful of bread crumbs at him.

Cappleman said the area was littered with bread crumbs, and he was just trying to clean it up before it became a breeding ground for rats.