Thursday, May 14, 2009

Blame the Gays for Chicago Corruption

There has been much hand-wringing, gnashing of teeth and psychic agonizing at the new lows of Chicago corruption that have been reported over just the past two days.

I am speaking of the revelations that the champion sales tax hiker, Cook County President Todd Stroger, has had an IRS tax lien slapped on his home for a minor memory lapse over a little matter of $12k in federal taxes that seemed to have escaped his, usually laser-like attention.

What racists those IRS bean counters. Why hasn't the teflon Messiah (who endorsed the Toddling) yet sent them back to their Ku Klux Klaverns?

I am also speaking of the sad revelation that openly gay champion, Alderman Tom Tunney, after voting for Daley's new, wild, $4.00 hr. parking meter fee hikes, had one of his key aides outed for producing and displaying on his car a phony "Official City Business" placard, to avoid the distraction of having to feed the meters.

The Tribune splashed this ugly dislosure on their new downsized pages. Homophobia seems to be running wild at Tribune Tower.

Who is to blame for this accelerated spate of Chicago civic corruption?

Who is responsible for this Moscow-apparatchik-styled official duplicity?

Some would blame the knee-jerk Cook County voters who would vote for John Wayne Gacy so long as a big D appeared after his name.

Some would blame black voters from the South and West side plantation wards who give 99.8% of their collective vote to any scoundrel who happens to share their melatonin levels and negroid anthropological features.

I blame the homosexuals.

While walking my dog in the 49th Ward during the 2006 election season, I found a stray handbill on the sidewalk. It was produced by the dreary leftist SEIU government employees union. It urged a vote for the taxin' Toddler, because it said the Republican candidate for County Board President, Tony Peraica, WOULD BAN GAY MARRIAGE IN COOK COUNTY.

Aside from the fact that the Cook County Board President has no more power over that than does the Patriarch of the Albanian Orthodox Church, this was hardly the most pressing issue facing the county electorate in 2006.

The County Hospital was in a shambles.

The County Jail was beginning to resemble the black hole of Calcutta.

The County government was hemmorhaging money faster than the hemophiliac Tsarevich Alexei after a bicycle spill.

And into this context, the ever-predictable lefties at the SEIU injected the pressing matter of marriage for Cook County homosexuals.

Republican Commissioner, Tony Peraica, a serious man, narrowly lost the election to Democrat Todd Stroger, a silly man.

Was it just coincidence that the Boys Town 44th and 43rd Wards turned in 80%+ margins for the Toddler in that election?

Their boy, Todd, then proceeded to ram thru a sales tax hike that elevated Cook County to the highest tax level of any jurisdiction in the nation (while, of course giving dozens of do-nothing 6 figure jobs to friends and family while neglecting to pay his own taxes.)

And then there is Chicago's first openly gay Alderman, Tom "Sticky Buns" Tunney.

He campaigned as an exemplar of reform-minded Lakeshore independence from the corrupt Democrat machine.

The Anne Sather's sticky buns provender then proceeded to join 44 other Aldermanic zombies in rubber stamping Daley's sale of City parking meters, which effected a 400% parking meter fee increase. (Only 5 Aldermen refused to rubber stamp Daley's proposal.)

But just this week, Tunney's trusted aide, an old machine hack named Zodak Younan, was caught by a Tribune photographer with a phony, Word XP concocted, "Official 44th Ward Business" placard on his Lincoln Town Car, so that he could park in metered spots, unharried by the distractions of the meter enforcement Gestapo.

This, of course, triggered howls of outrage from, the poor saps who have been carrying around buckets of quarters to avoid the approbation of the ever-efficient, expired meter monitors.

So the gay community has been instrumental in foisting on us a laughably inept scoundrel as County Board President and a gay, business-as-usual political hack Alderman.

In Chicago, at least, gays really are just like everybody else.

Except, now that they are out of the closet and putting their weight behind crooked Chicago pols, they're not just sticking it to each other anymore.

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Comments invited, however anonymous commentors had better deal directly with the issues raised and avoid ad hominem drivel. As for Teachers' Union seminar writers -- forget about it.