Thursday, October 30, 2014

Atanus for Congress: Schakowsky Gets Free Ride in the 9th

Anyone who has ever worked in a legislative office knows of a certain phenomenon called "nut mail."

This consists of letters from various constituents and non constituents wherein the correspondent complains of such things as their dental fillings which are really CIA radio receivers broadcasting incessantly to their brains.

Or they detail vast conspiracies, which extend back to the Opium Wars in China, in which the Koch Brothers and the Queen of England make fabulous profits distributing drugs in the US.

Nut mail can usually be recognized by red ink writing in the margins or the use of interesting ink colors to emphasize key points.

The best that local Republicans could come up in 2014 as standard bearer for Congress in the Illinois 9th district, is one Susanne Atanus and she has elevated the fine art of nut mail to the level of campaign lawn signs.

Hand made with black magic markers, they feature a photo of the fetching Ms. Atanus in front of an American flag and proclaim her to be the "Best, Greatest Leader!"

Ms. Atanus' hand made signs also promise "Daily Stock Returns", "More Jobs" and financial relief for any remaining nonagenarian holocaust victims.

To be sure, these are all vital concerns to the voters of Jan Schakowsky's 9th Congressional District.

But what we want to know is what Ms. Atanus is going to do about all those CIA radio receiver dental fillings.

And also, did the vaunted Evanston Democratic Schakowsky machine put this nut up to ensure that the ultra left wing Congresswoman gets a free ride?


  1. Everything you say about Atanus may be true, but there is one very important fact in her favor. She is not Jan Schakowsky.

    Putting it another way:
    What do these three have in common?
    1) Susanne Atanus
    2) Rocket J Squirrel
    3) Charles Manson

    I would I vote for any of them instead of Jan "Waste of Flesh" Schakowsky

  2. Good points! But you could always leave that race blank.

  3. Would leaing it blank allow her to retain her position like Cook county judges?

    1. Well, with the 9th district gerrymandered to make it impossible for anything but a Democrat to win, Schakowsky will win. But maybe it might be a good idea to not personally endorse a joke candidate like Atanus. Why encourage her?

  4. Oh boy, I can't wait for my daily stock returns!


Comments invited, however anonymous commentors had better deal directly with the issues raised and avoid ad hominem drivel. As for Teachers' Union seminar writers -- forget about it.