Saturday, March 22, 2014

One Stop Shopping in Norridge: From Sexy Shoes to Mattresses to Dave's Bridal

You've got to hand it to the commercial realtors in suburban Norridge. They really know how to group businesses together to make it easy on the shopper.
You can start your amatory Norridge shopping
spree with the sexy shoes at Lover's Lane

Take the strip of Harlem Avenue just north of Montrose.

You could take care of all your shopping needs of an amatory nature, from seduction to marriage to wedding night -- all at shops within a stone's throw of each other.

You could start out at Lover's Lane at 4453 N. Harlem. Their neon window sign apprises the consumer that they carry a fine assortment of "Sexy Shoes," as well as a wide selection of other enticing feminine apparel and the ever-popular "foreplay essentials."

A necessary corollary to this is a comfortable mattress. Since you are now in possession of "foreplay essentials,"we recommend you get one that is sturdy and spacious as well.

 For that you simply have to cross the street to the American Mattress storefront at 4410 N. Harlem. They'll fix you right up.
Then continue by crossing the street to
American Mattress and David's Bridal

Then, if all goes according to the seductress' plan, you just have to duck in next door to David's Bridal at 4412 N. Harlem where they boast a breathtaking array of "spectacular wedding dresses, bridesmaid dresses, & accessories."

Of course, the moralists among us will object to our recommending the purchase of the mattress before buying the "spectacular wedding dresses, bridesmaid dresses and accessories", but these are wicked times in which we live.

And, after all, you really wouldn't buy a car without a test drive, would you?

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Comments invited, however anonymous commentors had better deal directly with the issues raised and avoid ad hominem drivel. As for Teachers' Union seminar writers -- forget about it.