Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Banning Goober Peas at Chicago Park District Fieldhouse

Having successfully saved the peasantry from its mindless flirtation with death and disease by banning the airborne water vapors of the dreaded E-cigarette, Chicago's health elites have taken on a new bogeyman -- the peanut.
Unilateral Decree Making River Park "Peanut Free"

Posted prominently on the front door of the stately old River Park fieldhouse on Chicago's far North side is the following notice:

Peanut Free Park 

As a result of several children having severe Peanut allergies we ask that peanut products not be brought into the building. 

INCLUDES: Peanut Butter, Peanut products, Candy bars and regular nuts. Thank You.

Now the casual observer would conclude that the Chicago Park District in its entirety has jumped aboard this latest health food mania. After all, the notice practically yells at you that River Park is now a "Peanut Free Park."

And the fact that the notice appears just above the Chicago Park District logo, gives it what barristers would call, "The color of law."
Will Vera Onate next declare River Park
 a "Gluten-Free Zone?"

But, alas, that is not so.

According to Colleen Gallagher, the Chicago Park District's $78,504 a year "Risk Analyst," this was the unilateral doing of the busybodies who run that particular field house. She said that the CPD does not have a blanket ban on all things related to the tasty, native American legume.

The chief busybody and safeguard of public health and decency at River Park is one Vera Onate, the $60, 149 a year River Park recreation supervisor.

Seems that the glorified summer camp counselor, Ms. Onate noted that her idol, Barack H. Obama, proclaimed that since he had a pen and a phone, he could simply proclaim binding ukases on the peasantry at will.

She apparently decided to do the same.

Her rationale, according to Gallagher, was that a former denizen of the field house, recently succumbed to peanut allergies at school and everyone was sad.

Ergo, no Snickers bars for you kids.

Gallagher said that she would request that Onate remove the "request" since it is not CPD policy to ban the goober pea.

But as of this writing, it was still prominently on display on the River Park field house door as well as at several locations inside the building.

Seems Onate likes the concept of "tyranny of the minority."

Maybe next she'll go to work -- Bloomberg-style -- churning out dictates banning trans-fats, salt and 20 oz. Slurpees.

Maybe next, she'll declare the Chicago Park District's River Park field house a "Gluten-Free Zone." 

Or how about a "Lactose-Free Zone?" Because, after all, there might be some lone kid out there somewhere who is gluten averse or lactose intolerant, who clamors for government protection.

And after all, government always knows best. And as for the concept of "consent of the governed" in Obama's fundamentally transformed America--- Nuts to that!


  1. This is obviously racist -- they just want to ban peanut butter because a black man George Washington Carver invented it.

  2. I do not know of one child with a peanut allergy when I was growing up. Peanut butter (and jelly) sandwiches were a regular school lunch option at the self-serve lunch bar.

    1. Thie peanut allergy mania just seems another ploy in the never ending quest to find victims that government can protect and with that -- throw another wrench into predictable social activities. Chaos seems their aim.


Comments invited, however anonymous commentors had better deal directly with the issues raised and avoid ad hominem drivel. As for Teachers' Union seminar writers -- forget about it.