Sunday, November 25, 2012

2012 Wisconsin Badgers Could Become Worst Rose Bowl Team Ever

When the Wisconsin Badgers blundered their way into the 1999 Rose Bowl, ESPN analyst, Craig James, famously called them, "the worst team to ever play in the Rose Bowl."

UW's Badgers stunk up the Big-10 all season
but still could go to the Rose Bowl
But after the great running back, Ron Dayne, powered Wisconsin to a 38-31 victory over UCLA, UW coach Barry Alvarez quipped, "now I know we're at least the 2nd worst team ever to play in a Rose Bowl."

Well, this year, implausible as it might seem, the eminently mediocre Badgers with a paltry 4-4 conference record, could, in fact, belatedly fulfill James' 1999 appellation.

With a win over Nebraska on December 1st, they would have stumbled their way to the Big-10 title and could, at last, secure the rights to the title "worst team ever to play in a Rose Bowl."

In any event, the Badgers would secure the distinction of having the worst ever conference record of any Big-10 Rose Bowl representative -- nudging out a 1950 Michigan team who went with a 5-3-1 record (and still managed to bring home the Rose Bowl honors to the Big-10 by beating California.)

How did this happen?

How could mediocre poseurs like the Wisconsin Badgers end up representing the Big-10 in Pasadena on New Years' day?
Hey, we'll take it any way we can get it!

Well, two years ago, when the Big-10 reconfigured itself into 2 divisions, by sheer dumb luck, Wisconsin ended up in the same "Leaders" division with Ohio State and Penn State (along with perennial pansies, Illinois, Indiana and Purdue.)

Ohio State, despite a flawless 8-0 conference record and overall 12 game winning streak has been banned from post-season play for Florida State-styled recruiting and payola shenanigans.

And Penn State, despite a respectably formidable 6-2 conference tally, as we all know, has been banned from post season play as punishment for condoning the buggery of young boys in its shower rooms.

So that leaves Brett Bielema's 3rd place, mediocre poseurs from Dairyland, alone eligible to represent the division in the Big-10 championship game against Nebraska.

The winner of that one will go to the Rose Bowl and with Nebraska having only eked out a 3 point win over the Badgers on September 29th, really anything can happen there.

Including a Wisconsin win.

But why not?

If a mediocre poseur like Barack Hussein Obama can be re-elected despite the worst economy in generations, why can't mediocre poseurs like the Wisconsin Badgers end up in the Rose Bowl with a 4-4 regular season conference record?

This may just be the year for mediocre poseurs.


  1. Wisconsin 70 Nebraska 31. Probably the best Wisconsin football I've seen ever. Where the hell were they all season?

  2. The Ohio State thugs and Penn State weasels will get to see the Rose Bowl from the comfort of various sports bars.

  3. Penn State will be watching in a gay bar


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