Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Highland Park H.S. Scraps Residency Requirements

By now most have heard that Highland Park High School will not permit its championship girls basketball team to travel to Arizona for a tournament.

The girls had reportedly spent months selling cookies to raise funds for the trip, only to have an ideological warrior, Assistant District 113 Superintendent, Suzan Hebson, veto the trip.

Hebson,said that the new Arizona law intended to enforce U.S. residency laws in light of an onslaught of illegal alien settlement there, "would not be aligned with our beliefs and values."

Ms. Hebson is paid $206,319 a year to issue such profound pronunciamentos according to the Family Taxpayers Network teachers salaries report (see it here under the "Top 200 salaries" category:

Usually, when such morally superior uplifters as Suzan Hebson issue forth such ukases, there is a hypocrisy to be found nearby.

Such as with the 40% of Chicago Public School Teachers who sing the praises of the CPS system, yet send their own children to private schools. Or with such pro-public education luminaries as Barack Obama and Jesse Jackson, who conveniently send their children to posh and exclusive Sidwell Friends and St. Johns Academy respectively.

But I am happy to report that Suzan Hebson's Highland Park High School is true to its values.

After encountering a flurry of criticism on the morning radio talk shows and in the blogosphere, the ever-consistent Ms. Hebson announced that hereafter, Highland Park High School would not require proof of legal residency in Highland Park or elsewhere in District 113. Consequently anyone in the world who so chooses, will now be able to get a first class high-dollar education, courtesy of the enlightened, liberal taxpayers of Highland Park.

"We are not going to be like the benighted yahoos of Arizona," Asst. Supt. Hebson said. "There is no such thing as an illegal student. We are citizens of the world and all are welcome here," she pontificated.

Asked how District 113 would pay for a massive influx of new students, Hebson said that she would personally take a $150,000 annual pay cut and expected other members of her staff to do likewise.

"And if that is not enough, I'm sure the homeowners of the Highland Park area will enthusiastically embrace higher property taxes to make up any shortfall," Hebson said.

Hebson said that she was conferring with Highland Park mayor, Michael Belsky, about broadening the initiative to do away with residency requirements for the city's beaches and public library.

"We are going to be the first city on the face of the planet to truly obliterate meaningless distinctions of geographic residency," Hebson enthused.

To enroll your children at Highland Park High School for the coming year, call 224-765-1000.

Ask for Suzan Hebson.


  1. How nice to know that that American law doesn't line up with Superintendent Hebson's beliefs. *eyeroll* Oh my gosh, what an idiot! Thank God I don't live in that district!

  2. I'm curious about the source of your quotations?

  3. remember we are all paying taxes to support her lifestyle and mercedes payment and this ridiculous decision. what is so wrong with the public education system?

  4. Hebson now decides federal laws and AZ state law from her desk in IL? No residency requirements to access tax revenue? How would Hyde Park residents feel about half a million illegal takers moving into their town roaming their streets and demanding to be employed, educated, fed, access to free medical care? What else is she teaching your children? Parents, PAY ATTENTION!!!

  5. I have a feeling that there probably is some very noisy, but minority support for Hebson's stance in leftist Highland Park. That town is distinct in Lake County as it consistently votes overwhelmingly liberal Democrat. I say, let's advertise Highland Park's benificent "civic values" among illegal immigrants in Arizona and in Little Village and Pilsen, Chicago and invite them all up to enjoy Highland Park's beaches, parks hospital and schools.

  6. I sure hope she has the same views for the military (LEGAL) students. My family went through so much crap trying to register my son for school. Illegals have more rights in Highland Park than the military. That's sad.

  7. I think everyone should enroll their kids in the school district legal residence or not. Let's see her back paddle.

  8. I work as a medical assistant near here and my kid goes to HP HS. I can't believe this is actually something happening in this school district.


Comments invited, however anonymous commentors had better deal directly with the issues raised and avoid ad hominem drivel. As for Teachers' Union seminar writers -- forget about it.