Perennial Candidate Andy Martin Airs Spots Calling Kirk Homosexual

After almost three decades of involvement in the political realm -- mostly in Chicago -- I thought I had seen and heard just about everything. But this morning, a 30 second political spot which aired on WLS AM during the 8 o'clock hour jolted me out of bed and disabused me of that notion.

In it, perennial candidate, Anthony Martin-Trigona, (aka Andy Martin) accused North suburban GOP Congressman, Mark Kirk, of being a closet homosexual and of being part of a Republican homosexual cabal which covers up for him.

In another first, a WLS announcer read a statement at the conclusion of the paid spot, distancing Citadel Broadcasting from the content of the spot, but pointing out that it was required by law to air it, since Martin is a candidate for U.S. Senator.

I had never heard a station put its own disclaimer after a paid political spot before, but given the veracity of most such paid campaign ads, they might as well keep the tape handy.

In the ad, Martin doesn't come right out and say that Kirk is gay, but rather quotes two well known political operatives as having said so.

"I helped expose many of Barack Obama's lies in 2008," the ad goes. "Today, I am fighting for the facts about Mark Kirk. Illinois Republican leader Jack Roeser says there is a 'solid rumor that Kirk is a homosexual.' Roeser suggests that Kirk is part of a Republican Party homosexual club. Lake County Illinois Republican leader Ray True says Kirk has surrounded himself with homosexuals."

"Mark Kirk should tell Republican voters the truth."

Anyone who has been around political circles long, is painfully aware that political types are bigger gossips and scolds than even members of a small town's ladies sewing circle.

And true to form, fueled by his whirlwind marrige to and divorce from a former political aide, rumors had been flying around in Illinois GOP circles as to Kirk's possible alternative preferences.

This kind of thing has been going on for ages. I once had a little twerp on Capitol Hill tell me that not only was a certain well known U.S. Senator gay, but he also had no testicles. This kind of thing is par for the course among politicos. But I have never before heard of one taking to the airwaves with such raw sewerage.

Andy Martin has been hanging around Chicago since the 70s, when as Anthony Martin-Trigona, he ran several campaigns for Mayor of Chicago and other city offices as an anti-machine, reform Democrat.

He moved down to Florida in the 90s, changed his name to Andy Martin and ran for the Florida State Senate as a Republican in '96. His campaign was marked by a shoving contest that he had with several TV crew members, which resulted in his conviction for criminal mischief. While out on appeal, he was jailed for contempt of court, inadvertantly released early, whereon he hotfooted it back to Chicago. As of last year a criminal warrant remained active for him in that state.

Since then Martin has twice engaged in laughably long-shot runs for the Illinois Republican U.S. Senate nomination. This time he is facing, among others, Kirk, who is the state GOP establishment's favorite. Yet Kirk has engendered strong opposition from conservatives and while a recent Chicago Tribune poll showed him ahead, a very large percentage of the GOP primary electorate remains undecided.

So inveterate political troublemaker and bad boy Martin's bizarre foray onto the airwaves could have an as yet to be determined effect. If Kirk spends time denying the charges, he lends them unwanted exposure. If he keeps mum, they could fester.

Whatever happens, one thing is clear. In what is likely going to be a golden opportunity for a banner year for Republicans, nationwide, the Illinois GOP is clearly intent on showing that it is still not ready for prime time, or as they call it in Daley's 11th Ward -- the stupid party.

Merry Christmas From The Chicago Lampoon

The critic on the left says it all.

Merry Christmas, Everybody!!

Girls Gone Wild -- Naperville's Women Cops Run Amok

A lawsuit was filed in federal court this past week alleging that Naperville female police essentially have been using area citizens as props for their self-aggrandizing appearances on the "Female Forces" reality cop show.

The show which airs in the Bio cable channel, showcases Naperville female cops by following them around in the course of their police work.

According to the court filings, a Woodridge woman, Eran Best, was driving down the street a few doors from her house when she was stopped by the, interestingly-named, male Naperville officer, Timothy Boogerd. (Would you trust a firearm and badge to someone who had to go thru grammer school with a name like that? You know how cruel kids can be, he could be psychically scarred for life.)

Boogerd noticed that Ms. Best had an expired decal on her license plate -- a chicken shit offense at best which was later thrown out of court -- and forced Ms. Best to wait in the cold for 30 minutes as he awaited backup from one officer, Stacy Malec. It seems that Malec was being followed around by the "Female Forces" camera crew that night.

So, Best's lawsuit alleges, Boogerd and Malec played it up for the cameras. They made her stand outside in the February cold while they searched her car. They made her perform a field sobriety test (despite the fact that she had not been stopped for a moving violation.) They then handcuffed her, hauled her off to the station
where, still under the glare of TV cameras, they removed parts of her clothing to search for identifying tatoos.

At the station, Ms Best was approached by an unidentified man who asked her to sign a waiver consenting to use her image for broadcast. Resembling the kind of guy that David Letterman refers to as "Hollywood weasels," he urged her to sign saying it would get out her side of the story. She wisely refused.

So you can imagine her shock some months later when she received calls from family and friends telling her that she was featured in an episode of "Female Forces."

To add insult to egregious Naperville police misconduct, the Naperville female cop, the ever catty, Stacy Malec is shown on camera mocking Ms. Best's blonde hair, Jaguar car and Coach handbag.

"I don't feel sorry for her at all," said devoted Naperville public servant Malec, "Pretty little blonde girl, driving a Jaguar at 25 -- Yea, that's Naperville for you," Malec said.

MEOWWW!!

One wonders if devoted public servant, Ms. Malec is the kind of woman whose taste in off-duty clothing runs to flannel shirts and work boots.

And why are Naperville taxpayers funding people, who essentially, hate them?

So a lawsuit was filed in Federal District Court on the 14th, naming as defendents, Malec, Boogerd, the city of Naperville, the A&E network and the show's production company.

It asserts Civil Rights violations, Publicity Act Violations, intentionial infliction of emotional distress, invasion of privacy, violation of Drivers Privacy Protection act (her drivers license info was shown on camera) and consumer fraud.

The city of Naperville, of course is keeping mum on the whole embarrasing episode.
Except city spokesman, Nadja Lalvani said that the city's involvement was limited to TV crews following their female officers around and it had no involvement in the production.

That may not be true.

Naperville's involvement in this whole unseemly mess was prompted by Naperville Police Sgt., Betsy Bratner Smith. Now hauling down a hefty taxpayer supported pension at the ripe old age of 50, the ever self-promoting Bratner wrote in 2007 that she had contacted friends in Hollywood about involving her Naperville Police department's women in the project.

Bratner Smith, a Western Illinois University dropout, starred in several of the shows herself and said the TV exercise would "show our compassion and dedication."

She wrote in 2007 that Naperville Police Chief David Dial's support of the TV project was "immediate."

The Naperville City Council voted to allow the "Female Forces" production firm to use the Naperville city logo and the NPD insignia.

Naperville mayor George Pradel, himself a former cop, said of the show, "I think it's going to be wonderful. I think it should exemplify what they do in law enforcement."

If what they do in Naperville law enforcement is arrest the people who pay their salaries and bloated pensions, for chicken shit offenses, so that they can then bully and humiliate those very citizens and use them as pawns for their own amusement and self-aggrandizement, you hit the nail right on the head, Mayor Pradel.

But your little outer-Chicago enclave is now becoming a national laughing-stock.

Well -- you wanted publicity -- you're getting it.

Mather HS Little Lobbyists Will Fight Homelessness To The Last Drop of ---- YOUR BLOOD!

In one of the famous 3 Stooges shorts, when the Stooges are confronted by a gang of scary outlaws, Moe gives a pep talk to Curly telling him, "We're going to fight to the last drop of --your blood."

As reported last week by the online Lake Effect News, a group of Mather High School students in something called the honors law program, were whipped up into a frenzy of concern over the plight of Chicago's homeless when they entertained a sob-story speaker from the Alinsky-styled leftist Chicago Coalition for the Homeless.

Concern for the less fortunate is a noble enough endeavor in this Christmas season, and I thought the Mather kids would announce that they would volunteer their time to, perhaps, clean up at a homeless shelter or maybe make sandwiches at a soup kitchen. How quaint of me to think so.

These sophisticates had much loftier notions.

They decided to show their deep personal compassion for the homeless by (I am not making this up) lobbying their State Representative for a 2% increase in the Illinois state income tax to help the homeless.

And so they did just that. They marched into the office of North side, Democrat State Rep. John D'Amico, told them of their deep love and empathy for the poor homeless wretches and demanded that he vote to wring out another 2% from the paychecks of working people in Illinois.

D'Amico gave the budding young Alinskys T-shirts, tote bags, a pat on the back and sent them on their way. He said he would not vote to increase taxes, a novel approach for a Democrat, to say the least.

No doubt, exhausted from this grueling foray into the world of compassionate advocacy, the members of the Mather HS Law Society then departed for their Winter Break, no doubt quite smug in the satisying thought that they had shown their deep care and concern.

But I hear that next semester this loving, kind-hearted troupe is going to tackle the problem of hunger -- by calling for a 3% increase in your income tax.

Oh, Dan Proft Is So Screwed

Dan Proft is a 40-something Northwestern University Graduate. He is currently running for Governor of Illinois and is at 8% in the polls in a 6-way field.

He is the former Editor of the Wm. F. Buckleyite, rightist alternative, Northwestern Review, former campaign manager for the socialist-Republican Northfield, FemiNazi, Elizabeth Coulter, former campaign manager for the ultra, anti-abortionist Catholic conservative Gubenatorial candidate, Pat O'Malley, and former $400k+ a year flack for the Mafiosi-based government of Cicero, Illinois. (This was the home base and political base of Alphonse "Scarface" Capone.) Their Italian Female former Mayor is currently doing time in the Federal Pen for the business-as usual Cicero political hijinx that our friend, Proft, oversaw.

This guy, Proft, has been all over and around the block.

He has been in the pay of socialists, liberals, mainstream legitimate conservatives and Mafia thugs.

What's next for Dan Proft?

A fat PR contract with Al Queieda?

Or perhaps a PR contract pimping for the government of Iran?

He told the people of Cicero that he was all for illegal Mexican immigration.

They have a big illegal Mexican population there and he was pulling down almost a half mil a year from their mafiso government so he had to be an illegal alien pimp there.

But now he is telling Republican Primary voters that he is against illegal immigration.

Oh, Dan Proft is so screwed!!!

I do genuinely like the conservative blather that he puts forth -- but who can actually believe this chameleon guy?

He is a true Chicago blowhard and a genuine Chicago original -- this Dan Proft.

Never a dull moment in the Daley-Capone pseudo-Republic.

Barry Manilow For Rock n Roll Hall of Fame. Why Not?

The Rosemont Theatre will begin its Chicago Winter Schmaltz Extravaganza tomorrow night with a performance by 70s schmaltz-crooner, Barry Manilow, to be followed next month by a one week engagement of the Broadway cast of "Mamma Mia" - a vehicle for the performance of the 70s hits made famous by Euro-schmaltzers, ABBA.

What makes this worthy of note is the fact that the BBC excitedly reported at the break of dawn today that ABBA had just been voted into the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame.

The Swedish pop group will be inducted at the Hall's gala dinner in March.

Having been of the unhappy generation that was subjected to both the Vietnam war and the seemingly endless AM radio bombardment by ABBA and Manilow's ear candy, this is devastating news, indeed. It is perhaps the last straw in collapsing whatever faith our star crossed generation might have had in the concept of ontological justice.

First Westmoreland and Johnson's Vietnam "credibility gap" and now Jann Wenner's Rock n Roll Hall of Fame stretching our credulity to its outer limits.

To put this into context, the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame Foundation was founded in 1983 to honor major contributors to the genre, which it characterized as "chaotic, rebellious and disobedient music."

The first class inducted in 1986: Chuck Berry, Little Richard, Buddy Holly and Elvis Presley, was certainly true to that description.

And look at the inductees as late as 1994: John Lennon, The Grateful Dead, the Animals, Rod Stewart, Elton John, The Band -- all fair enough.

But for the class of 2010: ABBA??

Mamma Mia!

Somehow the nice, predictable bubble gum strains of "Honey,Honey," "Waterloo," "Dancing Queen," and "Super Trouper," seem more than a tad out of place when mentioned in the same breath as Rock n Roll.

And "Bubble Gum," is a well earned pejorative for ABBA's efforts. In the 90's their offerings were revived by a teeny-bopper group called, "The ABBA Teens," who performed to enthusiastic pre-pubescent throngs at such noted hard-core rock venues as EuroDisney.

The ABBA induction seems even more absurd when cast in the light of the fact that many real contributors to the development of the genre have been overlooked: Neil Sedaka and Carole King who were writers and performers of Brill Building fame, the Moody Blues, Chicago, ELO, Yes, Jethro Tull and Emerson, Lake and Palmer and many more far more serious artists.

Jann Wenner of Rolling Stone fame, runs the Foundation and his motivations seem to have a lot to do with cash. VH1 ratings are at stake and old videos of hot young Swedish babes shaking their derrieres will no doubt, draw more viewers than the Moody Blues.

Moreover, a table at the gala induction event can go for as much as $100k. That is a mercenary fact which caused the Sex Pistols to angrily turn down their induction in
'06 and one of the reasons why few past inductees attend the event.

So as long as the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame has degenerated into a money grubbing sham (did I mention that Madonna was inducted in '07?) I would like to nominate Barry Manilow for induction next year.

He is every bit as hard rock as ABBA. And even if his wrinkly old arse is not nearly as hot as Agnetha Faltskog's in her prime, he should easily be able to fill those $100k tables at the gala with throngs of his well-heeled, adoring, 60-something female fans from Long Island and Miami Beach.

So I am asking the spiritually beleaguered members of my generation to start the grass roots groundswell in Chicago at his Rosemont concert tomorrow night:

Barry Manilow for the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame!!!

Why Not???

Ending the Iraq War With Cool Jewelry

I have to admit it. I occasionally listen to WCPT radio. Principally so that you don't have to, but also because the "Chicago's Progressive Talk," offspring of lefty Air America has one genuinely amusing and marginally reasonable program. That is, of course, the offbeat, Saturday morning, "Awake with Jake," which features the acerbic and witty, Jake Hartford, a recent castoff from WLS-AM.

So while listening to that show this morning, I was jolted by a paid advertisement for custom jewelry. It seems that Anne Maxfield, the annoying liberal feminist former radio talker, is now hawking her line of semi-antique necklace creations.

Her paid ad, which airs only on WCPT, pleads with you to buy her jewelry because she is a morally superior fellow leftist.

"When Anne was on with right wingers on an all-sports show, she was thinking about how to end the war in Iraq and about making cool jewelry," says the ad's female announcer.

This is what you might call: making a virtue out of necessity.

Maxfield had a solid gig at behometh WGN radio for more than a decade, last working with fellow liberal, John Williams.

But she succumbed to the siren song of a far bigger paycheck and left WGN to join conservative Mike North at WSCR sports radio. She is a big girl and went into that situation with eyes wide open (and no doubt primarily focused on her bank account.)

She was not a fan favorite of the predominately male SCORE listeners and didn't help her cause by making inane Maoist utterances to the effect that all golf courses should be turned into public parks.

So when the tensions between Maxfield, North and North's audience became untenable, she got the sack. Anyone who has been in broadcasting knows that that is hardly an unusual occurence. Radio talkers, as a rule, have less job security and longevity than Tiger Woods' mistresses.

But now, the liberal sheep listeners of WCPT are being urged to show their "progressive" colors by shelling out upwards of $100 for Maxfield's necklace creations. Some of the necklaces, the ad tells us, are also suitable for men, a fact that will be certain to get her items stocked at the more esoteric boutiques around Clark and Diversey.

I went to her website, http://www.circa1856.com and must admit that some of the creations were, indeed interesting. They are essentially historically colorful old watch fobs from the Civil War era onward, that she has transformed into necklaces.

I particularly liked the one with the hunter theme, which shows a sportsman blasting away with his rifle.

I wonder how Anne explains that one away to the sensitive "friends of Bambi" who listen to WCPT.

Milty We Hardly Knew Ye

Milton J. Sumption announced this past week that he was withdrawing his candidacy for Congress in the North Suburban Illinois 10th Congressional district.


If you are scratching your head and saying, "Who?," you are not alone.

Milt Sumption is a 40-something resident of Lake Bluff, who briefly had a low level job in Senator Tom Daschle's office in the 90's, then made a small fortune as an investment banker on Wall Street, got out just before the crash and decided to buy a pricey home on the North Shore and run for public office.

As often the case with overacheiving business types, he declined to start with something modest like school board or even the county Board, but reckoned that only his rapier intellect could save the rubes of Mark Kirk's district from themselves. So he jumped right in to run for the U.S. Congress.

A fellow has to start somewhere, why not the top?

But after spending a few grand to get on the ballot and accosting voters door-to-door in his posh neighborhood, Milt came to the sad realization that he had no name recognition, no base and not a snowball's chance in hell against the relatively veteran Dems, State Rep. Julie Hamos and perennial candidate, Dan Seals.

At least Milty had the good sense to pull the plug on his 3 month campaign whimsy before a bevy of political consultants could milk his hubris for all it was worth.

But that hasn't always been the case in Illinois.

10 years ago, the 30-something scion of the R.R.Donnelly telephone book fortune, Shawn Donnelly, decided that her massive experience as political affairs director of the family business made her the obvious choice to succeed outgoing 10th district Congressman, John Porter.

She spent several million of her inheritance on that Quixotic whim. In garnering a 4th place GOP primary finish, her chief contribution to the political heritage of the district seems to have been the invention of enormous, billboard-sized lawn signs, that have since been outlawed by many municipalities.

And then there was John Cox. A Glenview lawyer, he made a bundle in acquisitions and mergers during the go-go 80s and decided that he should then devote his formidable energies and newfound cash toward saving the people of the 10th CD. With no political or civic resume to speak of, he dropped a bundle on the race, but alas, he too was an also ran in that 2000 GOP Congressional primary.

Undaunted, Cox, however, reasoned that his problem was that he was wasting his time on too small a challenge. So he decided to drop another few mil in a 2002 bid for the U.S. Senate.

A paltry 3rd place showing there only served to convince him that his sights were still too low. So he began pouring his money into a laughable 2008 campaign for President (of the United States.)

In accord with his pattern of losing and then running for the next higher office, word is that he is now testing the waters for a bid for UN Secretary-General.

And then, of course there was Blair Hull.

He got his seed money as a high stakes Las Vegas blackjack player. He parlayed that stake into a fortune made gambling on the Chicago Board of Options Exchange.

He then sold the business to Salomon Bros. and set his sights on the 2004 U.S. Senate race.

He had a successful quasi-scientific system in Vegas and boasted that he had come up with a "surefire algorithim for winning campaigns."

Apparently his $40 million campaign warchest and his scientific formula didn't predict the Chicago Tribune's yellow journalistic efforts which unearthed the nasty private details of his divorce and it was all for naught.

But there will no doubt be many future megabucks candidates who will arm themselves with the delusion that their business success (or huge inheritances)will be quite enough to secure for them high public office.

To steal a line from Paul McCartney's Lady Madonna:

"See how they run!!"

Chicago's Affirmative Action Queen in DC Dustup

If ever there was a poster child for the Affirmative Action racial spoils system, it is Chicago's own Desiree Rogers.

She's well known around here. But she is now getting national attention for being the Obama social secretary who decided to play Belle of the Ball rather than do the dreary work of checking off names of invited guests at the door at the recent White House State dinner. You know -- the things that a White House social secretary is supposed to do.

The fetching, designer dress-bedecked, Desiree decided to sit down to dine and schmooze with the luminaries at the event at which she was supposed to be working.

And as the Creole Queen's bad luck would have it, that would be the night when two inveterate goofballs from suburban Virginia would make international headlines by successfully crashing the party.

Ms. Rogers became a multimillionaire in her forties by parlaying an affirmative action admission to the Harvard business school into a series of high profile, astronomically overpaid, affirmative action PR jobs in the Chicago public and semi-public sectors.

Ever the RINO Republican, Governor Jim Edgar tapped the future Obamaite fashionplate to head up his Illinois State Lottery. She was a delegate to the 1992 Republican National Convention, back then. But she readily shed the GOP affiliation upon marrying a basketball buddy of Michelle Obama's brother.

She then snared plush PR gigs with Peoples Gas and Allstate Insurance. And the light skinned, former 1988 "Zulu Social Aid and Pleasure Club" (yes that is a real group in New Orleans) Parade Queen, was invited to paying posts on the Boards of Blue Cross-Blue Shield, Chicago's Lincoln Park Zoo, the Chicago Museum of Science and Industry and the Chicago Museum of Modern Art (on which she led a protest calling for more Affirmative Action minority board members.)

Her friend Obama, then invited her to Washington to head up the social secretary's office.

But apparently, no one told Desiree that it was an actual job with real responsibilities and not an invitation to just party till you drop on the DC social whirl.

So now, the Chicago Affirmative Action Queen is dodging Congressional demands that she explain the recent White House state dinner security lapse. She's being shielded by the White House Press Secretary from nasty inquiries from reporters. And her fun-loving negligence has caused the suspension of 3 Secret Service Agents.

Looks like Washington, D.C. is not turning out to be the never ending wild party scene that party girl Desiree Rogers envisioned.

Todd Stroger's Marvelously Blissful Ignorance

In the wake of the vote by the Cook County Board to partially roll back his sales tax hike, Board President, Todd Stroger, made the rounds of the airwaves this morning. And while casually chatting with Don Wade and Roma on WLS-AM, he made the amazing revelations that:

1. He did not watch or listen to Obama's major speech on Afghanistan last night, because "he doesn't ever have time to watch TV."

2. He never reads Chicago newspapers because, "they are all biased against me, and besides, they have gone up in price by 50 cents."

3. He never uses the internet as a source of news and information because,"I have people to do that for me."

4. He gets all of his news from a "clipping service."

YIKES!

He also said that he didn't know what Obama's speech was about, and when told that it was about the future conduct of the war in Afghanistan, he said that he was too busy with managing Cook County to worry about Afghanistan.

Now this is the chief executive of the second largest county government in the country -- an entity with a $3 billion annual budget, larger than all but 6 states --and he doesn't even read a newspaper or monitor electronic sources of news!

He did admit that he would occasionally watch television, but it was usually only to catch reruns of "The Nanny" around midnight.

Anyone else think that maybe the Toddling could himself benefit from the care and guidance of a stern nanny?

And just who were the people who actually voted for this clown over Tony Peraica in the election of 2006?

Oh well, ignorance is bliss.