Friday, December 23, 2011

Teddy Kennedy Was An Even Bigger Moron Than We Thought

B.O. and Teddy: Icons of the American Socialist Left

I actually met U.S. Senator Teddy Kennedy. He lumbered into the urinal next to mine to take a leak -- it was in a mens room on the Senate side of the U.S. Capitol one fine autumn day in the early 80s.

Freshly out of college, I was there to deliver some news releases to the Senate Press Gallery. It was one of my duties in my exciting new job as semi-writer, semi-gofer.

As the years went on, I had ample time to extensively study Kennedy's horrendous voting record. He was a socialist, pure and simple -- and unlike his older brothers, he was decidedly anti-American in almost every public policy and foreign policy position he took.

He consistently garnered 0% ratings from the American Conservative Union and 100% ratings from the ultra-left wing ADA.

I thought him an idiot.

But I didn't realize what a complete nincompoop Teddy Kennedy actually was until I read recently, Laurence Leamer's fascinating 2001 tome, The Kennedy Men, 1901-1963.

This was no right-wing diatribe book. Leamer, a former New Republic writer, had the full co-operation of the Kennedy family.

And among the things he chronicled was the fact that:

Teddy was thrown out of Harvard for cheating on a Spanish test!

Now I can see perhaps getting tossed out for cheating on a calculus final exam, or a physics test -- or even a classical Greek exam.

But Spanish?

Only the absolute dummies took Spanish at my prep school, where you were expected to at least carry your weight in Latin, if not both Latin and Greek.

But Spanish?

In the fall of 1950, Teddy found himself in danger of flunking Spanish and losing his eligibility to play intramural sports unless he scrambled to pull off at least a C-minus in Spanish.

So he persuaded a less intellectually challenged student than he was to take the Spanish final in his place and the test proctors immediately caught on to the ruse. (Leamer, Page 277)

Both Teddy and the test taker were thrown out of Harvard for at least a year. So Teddy was told by his father's lawyers that it would look good for his readmission prospects if he spent a year or so in the U.S.Army.

So the great iconic liberal -- the genius of health care reform -- went down to the Army recruiting office and Teddy compounded his display of boneheaded Spanish cheating idiocy, by accidentally signing the wrong Army induction forms and enlisting in the U.S. Army for 4 years! (Leamer, Page 278)

His father Joe, was furious and was no doubt convinced that he and Rose had spawned a complete imbecile.

So the politically formidable former bootlegger and pro-Nazi U.S. Ambassador to England, Joseph P. Kennedy had to spend the next year pulling strings to get his moron son, Teddy, out of the Army after only 2 years, instead of the 4 to which he had contracted.

Although, in fairness, Teddy might have a mitigating excuse.

He might have been drunk that day.

So there you have it -- political icon of the American Left, Teddy Kennedy,  flunking Spanish and filling out the wrong form so as to accidentally sign on for 4 years in the Army, instead of 2.

And Teddy was the genius, de-facto architect of our new Obama socialized health care scheme.

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